Jaded by marijuana and its ever-increasing popularity and societal acceptance, the nation's teens (aka barometers of the totally lame), have taken to smoking coffee instead for the nicotine high.
Jaded by marijuana and its ever-increasing popularity and societal acceptance, the nation's teens (aka barometers of the totally lame), have taken to smoking coffee for the nicotine high.
These nicotine junkies have been rolling up coffee grounds into "coffee sticks" and smoking them, earning them the name "beanheads," Coffee smoking is apparently going "viral" among the young trendsters, who learn how to smoke it from websites that are popping up faster than you can say "robust Colombian blend."
So far, no word as to what type of coffee the party animals prefer or where they're getting the junk from. Our best guess? Starbucks Blonde Roast. It's cheap, abundant, and easy to pass off as something more expensive, like the Dunkin' Donuts Breakfast Blend.
And although today's teens aren't the first to smoke cappuccinos and heritage Arabian Mocha Java (one redditor tried it back in 2011), they're the population's only age bracket to really put their backs into it. "No geezer would ever do this, and that's part of the charm of it," said a middle-aged cafe custmoer interviewed in a Las Vegas news special about the subject.
Coffee smokers can expect to experience exciting symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, dizziness and hallucinations once they've lit up, which, could theoretically be alleviated with the right balance of cream, sugar, or non-dairy sweetener.
It's only a matter of time before these wayward teens figure out that steeping ground coffee in hot water to make a makeshift "tea" will give them the same effect as smoking it.
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