Pope’s Instagram account “likes” picture of Brazilian model in schoolgirl outfit
Pope Francis is getting hot and bothered in quarantine or so it appears after his official instagram account liked a picture of Brazialian model, Natalia Garabotto, posing in a seductive schoolgirl outfit standing against a locker. Instagram immediately launched an investigation into how the “like'' possibly occurred since normally the likes are on the Boy Scouts of America accounts. 

Man steals lottery ticket from store, tries to cash winning ticket at same store 
A Florida man set a new bar for stupidity after he stole 13 lottery tickets from a local convenience store then tried to return at a later point to claim one of the $30 winning tickets. Police arrested the man  

"I've never used it. We raised our kids to successfully never to go near the stuff. I don't recommend it … but we have got to grip with the fact that prohibition laws have created far more problems than they've solved."
Republican congressman, Tom McClintock, on marijuana. He was one of five Republicans to vote in favor of decriminalizing marijuana at a Federal level. Like his republican colleagues, McClintock doesn’t approve of cannabis but in his words he doesn’t put his personal beliefs before the good of the country. 

Mayor of town will wait to impose mask mandate when he gets word from Holy Spirit 
A mayor from Lincoln County, Tenn., is soliciting and unusual muse  the mayor Bill Newman is taking a unique approach to implementing a mandatory mask policy by waiting for approval from the “Holy Spirit” before imposing the mandate. Newman believes the virus is real and spreading but that his prayers for guidance on face masks have yet to be answered. We have no joke for this. 

$2.5 Million
The amount a Donald Trump supporter is trying to recoup from the Trump Campaign after the genius donated the money in an effort to help the campaign file lawsuits against swing states for fraudulent votes. When the lawsuits were thrown out, the supporter’s calls for a refund of the donation went unanswered. Sorry buddy, this is called the art of the deal.  

Unlike Merriam Webster’s ridiculous word of the year, pandemic, Rooster’s Word of the Year is “unprecedented.” The next time an article headline, news broadcast, magazine cover, or journalist uses the word “unprecedented” to describe their story, we’re going to Fargo our own self in the woodchipper. Journalism used to be about finding what’s important and making it interesting. Instead, journalists now find what’s interesting and try to make it seem important. There’s an unprecedented amount of bullshit in the world these days and we can change that one unnecessary adjective at a time.