Each month we chronical the good, bad and ugly of what's happening in the world of news, culture and general deliquency. It's not pretty but someone has to do it. 

Body Builder, divorces sex doll, gets into threesome with new sex dolls 
A body builder from Kazakhstan is pushing the limits of BPA poisoningwhen he announced that after divorcing his sex-doll wife only a few months ago, he was no in a threewar relationship with two other sex dolls. The prople of Kazakhstan are appalled by this behavior — normally you just keep acquiring wives.   

“Well, I’m pretty tough. I’m a street fighter.”
Nancy Pelosi in response to how she would have fought off the capitol siege on January 6th using her 4-inch high stiletto heels if rioters somehow breached her security. Sorry Grandma, you're drunk, go home. Without security, you would have fallen over, broken your hip and pushed your Life Alert button faster than you could have booked a flight to God's waiting room, Florida. 

Percent of Americans who want Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to run for president. If Skyscraper, Baywatch, Rampage, Central Intelligence, Hercules, Tooth Fairy, Pain & Gain, Snitch, G.I. Joe, and San Andreas are any indication, be prepared to be disappointed. 

Teacher attempts to rob mexican drug cartel, you can guess what happens next
A beloved North Carolina teacher and his brother-in-law neglected to heed the warnings of every drug cartel movie known to man when they attempted to rob a “stash house” belonging to the Jalisco cartel, one of the world’s most deadly drug cartels. Like clockwork, the teacher was shot multiple times and his brother-in-law was killed execution style. The lesson to be learned from all of this: it doesn’t take much to be a teacher in North Carolina. 

Woman tries to use $1 million bill at Dollar Store 
A Tennessee woman is our new financial guru after she attempted to use a $1 million bill at the local Dollar General Store but was thwarted by the quick-thinking cashier and arrested by police. We’re not sure what’s more amazing about this story: a Dollar Store employee who works hard, or that Britney Spears is still kicking. 

As in the number of House Lawmakers who opposed a bill that would reinsitute a National Bone Marrow Donation Program, a service for people who have fatal blood diseases. In a vote of 415-2, Colorado’s own cowgirl Lauren Boebert along with Marjorie Taylor Green were the only two house representatives to vote against the bill, surely making their hill people happy. Lauren, what happened to being pro-life?