We were having a lovely day here in the office taking shots out of the boss' flask and refilling it with water, that was until ESPN released their ranking of the highest-paid athletes of 2018.

Eight athletes spanning soccer, basketball, tennis and boxing made a combined $932.6 million, according to numbers from Forbes. (pause for dramatic effect) Boxer Floyd Mayweather led the pack with $285 million.

It’s hard to wrap your head around the reality of that number. In order to do so, first consider that the No.2 highest-paid athlete on ESPN’s list is Argentine professional footballer Lionel Messi, who earned $111 million … over 2X less than Mayweather.

Then factor in that the average American household would have to work 5,700 years to make as much as Mayweather does in one rotation around the sun. That’s 30 minutes in the ring or 5,700 years of full-time salary work. (The average household makes about $45,000-50,000 a year according to the U.S. Census.)  

If you find yourself reading this at your office desk and contemplating an ugly public cry, try to remember Mayweather beats women in front of their children and his son once wrote a statement to police saying he saw his dad repeatedly hit his mother. So at least you’re not a piece of shit.

Moving on to the No. 2 and 3 spots of highest-paid athletes, both surprisingly went to soccer stars (Messi then Cristiano Ronaldo in third), and were followed by another boxer/UFC fighter, Conor McGregor. Yet another pro footballer, Neymar da Silva Santos Júnior, took fifth with a paycheck of $90 million.

Finally, LeBron James took a spot, not far below Neymar, with $85.5 million. We were surprised to find James so low on the list and would have guessed he at least made the podium. Sorry (again), LeBron. Still, with a check that fat you better believe we expect you to play with a broken wrist.

It's not so different from last year. Forbes’ old list had Cristiano Ronaldo in first place, followed by James, Messi, Federer, and Durant. The biggest shift in the pay structure was caused by the massively hyped fight between Mayweather and McGregor last August. This storyline beef isn’t done bringing in the cheddar yet either. Rumors stipulate the two idiots (albeit rich idiots) will take the fight to the octagon for a rematch, bringing the game to McGregor’s turf.

Side note: would you allow one of them to kick your ass for roughly $192 million? Yeah, we would too.

So what have we learned today kids?

We learned that Mayweather needs to start investing some of his disgustingly high paycheck in a team of therapists and probably donate to domestic violence nonprofits (to start), and that the easiest way to make millions of dollars is to become a hot soccer player.

[cover photo John Salangsang, Invision, AP]