With Impeachment, the Democrats in Washington are trying to pwn President Trump. But since Dems only control the House and not the Senate, they can slap Trump with an open hand, but they can't curb stomp him.
To get Trump out of office, 67 Senators have to vote to remove him. Can that happen? Right now, 90 percent of Republican voters oppose Impeachment. So is it possible 14 Republican Senators will turn on their own voters? Is it possible the Kardashians will stop getting plastic surgery? That PewDiePie will stop talking in a high voice?
Now, many Republican Senators know Trump is guilty as hell. Trump plainly used military aid to extort Ukraine into investigating his rival, and many Senators know Trump's Ukrainian ratfucking was as messed up as planting drugs on the dude who starts ahead of you on the basketball team. And if these Senators were Good People who Care About Our Country, they would revolt.
But they're not good people. And they know that, about impeachment, regular folks couldn't give two lumpy shits. In places like Ohio, reporters find, "people you meet just don't give a damn."
So if the Dems can't really send Trump back to reality TV, or on a full-time vacation cheating at golf, they're impeaching Trump … why?
Or: why doesn't the Democratic House vote to Impeach Trump on Monday, and the Republican Senate vote to acquit him on Tuesday, and we all move on with our lives?
Dragging out Impeachment is a Democratic strategy, although a deranged one. Yes, many Dems want to put Trump in the stocks and flog him. And impeachment is good for the congress members' status, Looking Noble in the Eyes of History.
But Dems will drag out Impeachment — hearings, subpoenas, speeches — because they're trying to bogart your attention. To watch the Impeachment trials the way we watched the O.J. Simpson Trial, only participatory this time: pissily Tweeting, status updating, hate-watching The Rachel Maddow Show.
Politics is a game now, played out on screens. Distraction is good — Dems think — for a Democratic win in 2020, because the longer your eyes are glued to Impeachment TV and Trump Eats Shit Twitter, the less bandwidth you have to notice the stock market is up and we're not in any major wars, because Dems know that during peace and prosperity — even during crippling wealth inequality, like we have now — the dude in office almost always crushes reelection.
But in a larger sense, there's a bigger jerk-off happening to you, from both sides, and distracting you is good for them both. It's not just that Democrats want to win the next election. It's that Washingtonians — Dems and GOP alike — want you distracted from the actual, relentless, spiked screw-job happening to you like clockwork.
The whole country feels this. Trump's base — whites without a college degree — believe in their bones that life, for them, will forever slide downhill. Their jobs are slipping, their religion fading, their culture marginalized. And Trump's biggest haters feel almost as hopeless, as young, educated, diverse voters often accept that climate change will kill the animals, automation kill their jobs, and student debt kill their chances at a decent life.
Impeachment, like so many mostly-pointless, semi-fake fights out of Washington, pits Boomers against the "OK, Boomer" crowd. And Washingtonian elites can keep sucking up tax dollars and avoid doing anything real.
If we regular folks want the country to get better, we should maybe go run for school board or the local planning commission, and ourTweets and chants in the streets shouldn't be "Impeach!" vs. "Witch Hunt!" It should be: "Get this the fuck over with!"
Leave a Reply