Kanye West has always been a completely normal, stereotypical "nice guy" who's known for his rational decisions and level-headed nature. So it makes sense that he'd release his own currency, because that's not literally the most narcissitc thing a person could do, ha ha! It's called "Coinye West." Let's explore it, shall we?

So you're online, buying some black market bath salts, and you don't want your purchase to be traced back to you (don't worry, this is a safe environment, we're not judging!) That means you can't use real money from your debit or credit card, unless you want to be serving 25 to life next to a huge, yet eerily silent hunk of meat named "Chomper" in a jail cell. Again, we totally feel you. 

We'll, there's always cryptocurrency. Let's consider your options. First, there's Bitcoin.

Nah, Bitcoin is for "hardcore money-hoarders," and that's not you, is it? Of course not.

Then, there's Dogecoin, which is ruled by a dog. But wait, isn't that for "internet meme crowds?" It just may be, and that's not your thing. What to do, what to?

Well, there's always "Coinye West," a new type of cryptocurrency from Kanye West. The rapper! Tell you more? Why, certainly!

With "Coinye West," you can make anonymous purchases online using a currency created by the world's most narcissistic human being alive! Relish in the amount of sex toys you can buy that you you were too embarrassed to use your credit card for, all sponsored by a man who thinks he's Jesus Christ and was mean to Taylor Swift one time.  That's right; "Coinye West" is the cryptocurrency for the masses; it's virtual money for the man, woman, or child who finds it novel to funnel their life savings through a theoretical currency who's namesake is the man who made this:

He's all, "Yo Bitcoin, Imma let you finish, but Coinye West is the best fake money of all time. OF ALL TIME!"

Launching January 11 with the catchphrase “WE AIN'T MININ', WE PICKIN'”, the system promises “no premine, no screwed up fake "fair" launches, shyster devs, muted channels, and f**ked up wallets." That makes a whole lot of sense. But not as much sense as the illuminati connections that "Coinye West" has…The maximum number of coins that can ever be mined in the currency is 66,666,666,666.

"Coinye West" also opens up an entirely new realm of dating possibilities. Picture this: you're on a date, and you're broke, but you want your date to think you're a massive fool. Just whisper, "I forgot my wallet, and all my Kanye money is at home." Then sit back, relax, and bask in the sheer insanity of the notion that your money is Kanye West-themed. Just…think about that.