If you ever looked deep into the murky glass of a crystal ball and wondered what your future holds then get it together and stop that. You don't need anything mystical or psychedelic to see what tomorrow holds; all you need is this list of insanely cool technological innovations to let you know what life's gonna be like in the early years of the 21st century.

If you ever looked deep into the murky glass of a crystal ball and wondered what your future holds then get it together and stop that. You don't need anything mystical or psychedelic to see what tomorrow holds; all you need is this list of insanely cool technological innovations to let you know what life's gonna be like in the early years of the 21st century.

Behold …

1. A tree that grows 40 different kinds of fruit

Syracuse University's  Tree of 40 Fruit is like an entire grocery store on one plant. The futuristic flora grows 40 different types of stone fruit, including almonds, apricots, cherries, nectarines, peaches, and plums, but there's a little garlic and peppermint in there to keep bugs away too. It was made by grafting together several different varieties of tree, including native fruit, heirlooms, and antiques, some of which are centuries old. As the tree aged, they'd add more varieties onto the tree as separate branches — a technique called “chip grafting.” Currently, there are 16 of these bad boys around Syracuse, where we hope they're competing with Whole Food's produce department and winning.

Orthodox application: Curing world hunger, feeding the homeless, and dramatically decreasing farmland, water and pesticide use.

Unorthodox application: Expanding your vodka-infusion capabilities. Cheers!

2. A synthetic silk leaf that produces oxygen

Julian Melchiorri, a graduate of the Royal College of Art, claims to have developed a silk leaf that creates oxygen via a process of synthetic photosynthesis. The leaf is crafted from a matrix of protein extracted from silk and chloroplasts, aka the organelles that allows plants and algae to perform photosynthesis. When hit with light and water, the synthetic leaf allegedly acts just like a real leaf and produces oxygen.

Orthodox use: Creating oxygen for space travel, improving urban lighting and ventilation, decreasing pollution.

Unorthodox use: Air to breathe when your roommate farts near you.

3. Cancer-curing weed

It's been known for a while that weed has anti-tumor properties, but a recent study just found out exactly how that process works. You ready? It's simple. THC and CBD increase the levels of a protein that marks tumorous cells for destruction. Basically, in stoner terms, the weed acts as a chemical narc, pointing out which cells are cancerous … then it calls the cops on them. 

That finding is a huge step; now that the mechanism of how weed influences cancer cell growth is known, drug companies are one step closer to harnessing it's power to treat cancer.

Orthodox use: Treating and preventing cancer. 

Unorthodox use: Treating and preventing FOMO.

4. FLIR One Thermal Imaging … on your phone

Thanks to FLIR One technology, it's easier than ever to dominate at hide and seem or catch ghosts. That's because it makes it possible to see things invisible to the human eye. Using thermal imaging to capture light from the infrared specturm, it creates an image that's made of heat as opposed to visible light so that you can see in highly lit environments, in the dark, through smoke, and through certain materials like sheets or plants. The technology comes in the form of a tiny camera embedded into your smartphone, or as an app on the iTunes store.

Orthodox use: Finding your pet at night, seeing through smoke to find an exit in the fire, finding the cold spot on your pillow.

Unorthodox use: Finding your pet through the haze of cancer-killing marijuana smoke.

6. Anti-drink-spiking technology

Getting roofied might be a thing of the past, thanks to a new electronic device and mobile app called pd.id (Personal Drink ID). It aims to prevent sexual assaults that occur after a victim has been unknowingly drugged.

When you dip it in your drink, the reusable gadget detects the presence of date rape drugs or otherwise nebulous narcotics in your drunk, and sends an alert to your phone if someone has spiked it. And at 3.5 inches, it's small enough carry around discreetly in your pants or purse.

Pd.id comes with an added public safety benefit. When you download the mobile app and use the device, it'll create a heat map of sites where cases of date-rape drugging have occurred. The company said it wants to "use that data to partner with police departments, helping inform law enforcement's assault-prevention efforts," which is an added benefit of not getting roofied.

Orthodox use: Preventing date rape and drink spiking.

Unorthodox use: Discerning your drink from Lip Herpes Harry's (someday).

7. 3D Touch

Computer mice have been your connection to your computer for the past 50 years, but new technology like ArXiv may render those little electronic rodents obsolete. The device would allow us to interact with computers in three dimensions using simple, cord-free hand motions. It's basically like a Kinect or a Wii for your computer, but it's novel because although 3D motion command technology exists within those systems (and a few other places), there hasn't been anything like it developed to navigate personal computers.

The device sits on your finger like a thimble, and can accurately sense its position in 3D. It responds to  various preprogrammed mouse-like gestures, for example a finger tap, that allow the user to interact with objects in 3D. It’s also small, cheap and can be used with almost any computing device.

Orthodox use: Ushering in a new form of human-computer relationship that'll change the way we interact with technology. No big deal.

Unorthodox use: Obviously 3D interactive porn.

7. Pollution-cleaning skyscrapers

A pair of proposed kilometer-tall skyscrapers in Wuhan, China will do more than beat the world record for World's Tallest Building. The towers also have pollution-absorbing coatings to help clean the air, vertical gardens that filter more pollution, and a chimney in the middle of the larger tower naturally pulls air across a nearby lake for better ventilation. As if that wasn't enough, the taller tower will also have a wind turbine in it, which will allow it to power itself as well as the smaller tower.

But wait! There's more! It uses water from that lake we just mentioned, it returns nothing but filtered oxygen to the environment. “The water goes up through a series of filters,” explains architect Laurie Chetwood. “We don’t use power to pull the water up, we’re using passive energy. As it goes through the filters and back, we’re also putting air back into the lake to make it healthier.”

Orthodox use: Decreasing pollution, creating sustainable urban environments, creating power without killing every animal and plant within a 20 mile radius.

Unorthodox use: Increasing the amount of non-radioactive wildlife, which you can later hunt for food  in lieu of a nuclear apocalypse.

8. Automatic sperm extractors

The future holds many great things, but one of those things is not your penis. Instead, all that future penis holding is in the able hands of semen-extracting robots.

Yes, dear readers, in the future, when you go to donate sperm, it'll be an entirely hands-and-human-free experience mediated by sperm extraction machines. The effortless automatons feature a "massage pipe" that can be adjusted to suit the height of the user, as well as a small television screen for men who are feeling uninspired by the idea getting sucked off by a machine in the urology department of their friendly local hospital. All men will have to do is input a few customization requests; frequency, amplitude and temperature, and before they know it, they've made a donation to the sperm bank. In other news, cases of tennis elbow are expected to fall dramatically …

Orthodox use: Helping men donate sperm, decreasing the number of door handles coated with sperm in the urology department.

Unorthodox use: Surrogate girlfriend.

Here's a video of the machines in action so you know what to prepare yourself for.