A groundbreaking new study has uncovered the most used emojis in America as well as the true meaning behind that swollen purple nightshade vegetable.

Finally: there's now solid scientific proof that the beloved crying-while-laughing face is the most used emoji in the world, and that everyone uses the eggplant emoji as a penis. 

… Really? We always thought this was the best way to describe a dick:

The life-changing intel comes to us from a study by third-party mobile keyboard company SwiftKey. They aggregated more than 1 billion emojis sent by millions of users of its keyboard cloud system (an opt-in service that analyzes what users type to responsively predict their most-used words) between October 2014 and January 2015.

It then divided the more than 800 emoji symbols into 60 categories, from hearts to monkeys to “raunchy,” and then analyzed the most frequently used emojis by country and language.

Their first major finding was that the traditional smiley and frowny faces far outpace the other emojis: close to 60 percent of all emojis sent were little yellow faces, with happy faces more popular than their mopey counterparts. Screw you, depressed people who don't know how to verbalize your emotions.

The most often used smiley face in the whole world is the laughing-so-hard-you’re-crying face, with the blowing-a-kiss/winking face not far behind in second place. Behind faces, the most popular emoji categories were hearts (12.5 percent of all emojis sent), hand gestures (5.3 percent) and “romantic” images such as the lipstick kiss print (2.4 percent). Word's still out whether 100 percent or 101 percent of those romantic emojis are used as Tinder bait.

But where the report gets juicy is when you start to look at specific countries and languages. For example, French users send heart emojis more than any other category, including smiley faces. 

And according to the study, Americans use the drumstick, eggplants, birthday cake, and money bag emojis more than any other worldly country. What does that mean?

"I'll pay you to give me birthday head at KFC."

Also, Americans really, really love to use skulls. Don't ask?


Interestingly, SwiftKey chose to categorize the eggplant emoji under “raunchy” rather than "food," which is pretty plain evidence that it's used more often as a dick than a dinner invitation. Compared to other food emojis, the eggplant is used half a percent of the time in the US compared to 0.02 percent for the corn or 0.01 percent for the tomato, another nod to is status as the penis of the emoji world.

It's not what we'd call "scientifically advancing research," but it is good to get a firmer grasp on the phallic hieroglyphics our society is so fond of using, pun totally intended.