Somebody call the whaambulance …

Last year Forbes rated Denver as the best place for businesses and careers, citing its “diverse economy, highly educated labor force and outdoor recreational opportunities.” Early last month, U.S. News & World gave us the grand title of the "best place to live" in the nation. We're consistently kicking the bejesus out of other states in both radness and dopeness as a place to call home.

Apparently that isn't enough though, because the consensus appears to be that "working is hard" and "whaaa whaa wha." Recently we copped another title from, a rather disappointing one to boot. Right now, Denver is home to the most dissatisfied workers in all of America. Even well below Detroit, a city that's completely fucked and in shambles on top of ruins.

"In fact, not only did Denver rank last among workers for overall job satisfaction," the study's author writes, "it also ranked last for management, work/life balance and job security." 

Metropolitan State University of Denver professor Madison Holloway tells Fox 31 News that he believes people are just too damned impatient and expect the world to be handed to them without so much as lifting a finger (we're paraphrasing here, of course).

“I would imagine it being younger people who are not getting where they want to go as fast as they would like to get there," he says. "That, I believe, could happen because we’re all impatient."

The study goes on to say that even though Denver is listed as one of the greatest cities to live in right now, with myriad opportunities and uncharacteristic growth we've not seen for decades, we're still pissed off at the offerings waving right in front of our faces.

"Denver has a higher concentration of disgruntled workers than troubled Detroit or Providence, capital of a state which as recently as 2014 had the country’s worst job market," it says. "(And) the unhappiest job in Denver (and third unhappiest in the US overall) is 'admission counselor,' whose role often involves delivering disappointing news to young people."

Somethin' here doesn't add up. We're sorry you can't make a living by going to Bassnectar shows, snowboarding high on weed all the time or attending brunch with Instagram filters? There isn't much else to say, other than people have to work to earn things and often, when you're younger, those things absolutely fucking suck. Retail, coffee barista, construction laborer, wait staff — these aren't things that are necessarily easy, fair or fun, but they pay the bills, and being thankful for that provides more of an opportunity to value them in the long run.

And if the majority of these stats come from professional careers that residents abhor? Then, shit, welcome to the real world. You must be new here.

Not happy? It's your own damn fault.

Cities most happy w/ their jobs:

Cities least happy w/ their jobs:


"Using the 10 million aggregated and anonymized company reviews on Indeed, we compared countries, cities and job titles based on the average review scores. A review can have one to five stars, so within each cluster we grouped reviews by the number of stars current or former employees gave. We then calculated the average rating based on the number of reviews in each of the five categories. An average score of five is the highest rating a country could have while a one is the lowest.

In the global ranking we only considered the 35 countries that had at least 1000 total reviews. In the US city ranking we considered the 50 largest cities by population. In the European city ranking we considered the 10 capital cities with the largest number of total reviews. In each of the title rankings we only considered the top 100 titles with the most reviews.

In addition to an overall rating, people can give employers specific ratings for compensation, work-life balance, job security, management, and workplace culture. Using data from the 50 US cities and the 35 countries we ran a series of simple OLS regressions to explore the relationship between the overall scores with each of these five sub-categories. We also referenced BLS and World Bank data on unemployment and World Bank data on GDP per capita to explore any correlations with these variables and the company reviews."