You're never going to own any of these …

Even though the world's population hates one another with abject passion, we still have a bunch in common — mainly that we're all broke and consider things like real food, a night out, or not having creditors calling every three minutes comfortable luxuries. There are those out there, however, who don't worry about real problems like us. They can afford things, like the following, which you can't, and won't, ever:

"Glamburger" – $1,770

Maybe it's just us, but the notion of paying an egregious amount for something that's going to turn into actual shit in a matter of hours seems like the biggest waste of cash imaginable. Enter the "Glamburger," a complete disregard for real human problems at close to $2k. 

23 Karat Gold Plated Stapler – $513.60

Speaking of wasteful, does anyone really need an expensive stapler? Hell, does anyone even use staplers anymore? At $500, it's not going to break the bank — but why, tho?

Gold Toilet and Toilet Paper – $3.8 Million

Oh, good, because taking a dump matters that much someone absolutely must own a gold-plated commode? It's like they always say, "Can't polish a turd."

Tibetan Mastiff – up to $1.5 million

There are literally millions of dogs out there right now looking for a place to call home for a fraction of what it costs to get one at a pet store. But over a mil to get a 'prized' type for no other reason than to gloat? Get the fuck outta here.

Nike Air MAG, self-lacing sneakers – Released soon, price TBD by auction (hint: more than you have)

These bad boys haven't gone into production quite yet, but Nike promises they'll be released this spring at auction. Early estimates put the sneakers around $30k, but since the tag will be determined for charity, the Back to the Future kicks could go anywhere. Except your closet.

Superyacht A – $323 million

Not even the most expensive yacht on the planet, the Superyacht A is a fuck ton of money, of which doesn't even include the upkeep and overall necessities to keep something like this functional. This yacht is something you will never own.