Today, we are sad to announce that the US has lost its status as 'coolest 420 kids on the block.'
Uruguay announced last week that they'd be selling perfectly legal weed for $1 per gram after a bill that legalized marijuana across the entire country gets passed. Jesus, Uruguay, steal our thunder why don't you?
The bill would make Uruguay the first country in the world to license and enforce rules for the production, distribution and sale of marijuana for its people, a move that makes the US look like whatever bumbling villains try to stop Cheech and Chong from getting high in their movies.
Drug chief Julio Calzada says the cheap-ass weed will likely go on sale as early as mid-2014. The legalization movement in Uruguay is part of a push to wrench the market away from illegal drug dealers. But um, hello? Don't we have illegal drug dealers who need wrenching-away from here too? Yes, you, yes we do, and they all have lofts in Williamsburg.
So hats off Uruguay, congratulations on stamping out crime while providing a new way to reap useful tax dollars from your people. We'll just sit over here in a corner and you know, not do that. Bye!