CU-Boulder's $200K campaign to shed its party school image is ruined thanks to this utterly ridiculous promo video for Blend.
Countless hours. Two-hundred thousand dollars. The blood, sweat at tears of a few overworked employees.
They all went towards funding and creating CU's "Be Boulder", an ad campaign that was supposed to help the university shed its infamous, Playboy Magazine-appointed image as a party school. University officials exhaled a collective sigh of relief upon its completion, hopeful that in the future, the campaign would inspire students to flock to CU-Boulder for its academic merits, not its legendary 420 celebration. Someday, they hoped with a little gleam in their eye, CU would be considered a Princeton, maybe even a Yale of sorts, and leave its wild, partying days behind in the name of a brighter future. The sun burst through the thick, marijuana smoke that everyone knows dangles listlessly over the city, and the angels sang a triumphant song.
And then…this happened:
Like a black cloud of doom, Blend Systems released a promo video featuring the douchiest CU Boulder party known to man for their app, Blend. Boobs were zoomed in upon. Burnett's was guzzled inexplicably, as if it weren't totally gross. Joints accessorized the mouths of hundreds of bros. And condoms fell from the sky like an apocalyptic rain as footage from the epic party solidified CU's reputation as Ultimate Party School. CU-Boulder was mercilessly defeated as the video made it clear that their beloved universtiy is the premiere place to go if you want to have your ass grabbed by an Axe Body Spray-laden dude drinking Mango Burnett's in a hot tub that's littered with Red Bull cans. The angels' song became a funeral dirge.
The app is basically like Instagram for drunk college students, and the promo video was produced by Boulder's own You Know Productions. However, CU-Boulder was not happy that their students were portrayed in such a slanderous, sinful light. "CU-Boulder was not aware of the production company's intentions to produce a video," said CU spokesman Mark Miller, as the university scrambled to react. "The University in no way endorses the video or the app that is advertised."
CU-Boulder contacted Blend to ask that they remove any footage that included campus buildings or CU Buff imagery, and they complied…with one caveat:
"They made us strip out some of the stuff and (the video) turned into more partying. 'Can't use football. Can't use this building. Can't use that.' Well, the video is going to be even more partying," Blend founder Matt Geiger said. "You know you're doing something right when it gets to (school officials) that quickly because that means it's getting to students even quicker."
So there you have it, folks. No matter how much CU tries to clean up its reputation, evil will always triumph over good, and CU will always be a party school. Bros will always pour vodka into waiting gullets of bro-ettes at 12pm on a Tuesday. Drunk bitches will always be like "You know it" and throw up shocker hand signs like when confronted with the lens of a camera. And there will always be dubstep blasting from some California transplant's souped up Hummer sound system, serenading the crowd with the sweet sound of technology. CU didn't get it's No.1 Party School title from Playboy for nothing. Blue Raspberry Burnett's all around.