Wow. Homosexuality isn't legal in Russia, but it looks like the 2001 version of Corel Draw is.

Feeling a little left out by the worldwide embrace of homosexuality and the gay pride flag following the US Supreme Court's ruling in favor of same sex marriage, Vladimir Putin's United Russia Party has hit back with a flag of their own: an in-yo-face "straight pride" flag. 

Yes, because if there's anything straight people need, for people to rally around a poorly-designed symbol of their "cause."

This is what straight pride looks like in Russia:

Wow. Homosexuality isn't legal in Russia, but it looks like the 2001 version of Corel Draw is.

The flag supports Putin's 2013 ban of anything that promotes "nontraditional values," such as men looking lovingly into each other's eyes over a plate of beans or two women eating pussy like it was their last meal.

Therefore, in an anything-you-can-do-I-can-do-better response to the LGBT movement's ever-popular rainbow flag, Putin's people released the banner celebrating the traditional, nuclear Russian family.

On it are two parents – a woman and a man – holding hands with three children.



Andrei Lisovenko, deputy head of the United Russia branch in Moscow, told the Izvestia newspaper, "This is our response to same-sex marriage, to this mockery of the concept of the family. We have to warn against gay-fever at home and support traditional values in our country."

The flag was launched alongside the hashtag #realfamily.

But … but! If the sheer idiocy of the flag itself wasn't enough to make you rainbow-fy your apartment, it's also just come out that it might be plagiarized.

On social media, many were quick to point out that the Russian straight flag looks about 103 percent identical to the the flag of La Manif Pour Tous, a French group who is also against gay marriage. The only difference is that Russia's flag has three kids and the French one just has two.

…Alright then! It would appear that Putin's peons are adept at stealing much more than civil rights these days.

A Stonewall spokesperson said: "A #realfamily is not determined by sexual orientation or gender identity, but love. That sentiment is certainly missing from this flag as is, in our opinion, a splash more color. It’s also another example of how much work we still have left to do to combat homophobic, biphobic and transphobic attitudes and behaviors."

Meanwhile a spokeperson for people with eyes said: "… The fuck?"

But, that question seems to define Russia's actions day in and day out, so instead of getting to uppity about it, we're just gonna file this flag situation under the tab "Things Russia Does That Don't Matter Which Is Also Everything."