Walmart has offered us so many great things in their time; People of Walmart and… um … well get back to you about the other things. But perhaps their greatest offering of all, is a new selection of iPhones that cost less than a dollar. Your childhood piggy bank is about have a career-defining moment.

Walmart has offered us so many great things in their time; People of Walmart and… um … well get back to you about the other things. But perhaps their greatest offering of all, is a new selection of iPhones that cost less than a dollar. Your childhood piggy bank is about have a career-defining moment.

You'll have to break your personal code of conduct and enter a Walmart to get them, because the deal is in-store only. But, it's damn-near worth the chaos because iPhone 5Cs are 97 cents. Ninety-seven fucking cents people. That's cheaper than gum. Than a water bottle. Than the outfits of the ladies shopping for at-home foot callus removers in Aisle 10.

And in case your life is too large for the letter C to be affixed to anything related to your phone, they're slangin' hot-and-ready iPhone 5Ss for just $79.

Yep, they're right there alongside the camouflage sweatpants and the blood sugar monitors, somewhere in between the XXXL Tweety Bird tees that some Malaysian two-year-old made. You just have to wade through a crowd of screaming children with AirSoft guns and obesity to get to them.

The deal is made possible by the impending arrival of the iPhone 6, which is expected to be announced on September 9th. Can't have any sorry iPhone 5-anythings commingling with the shining spectacle of technology that is the iPhone 6!

Of course there's a catch, which that you have to sign a pretty pricey two-year service contract. But won't it be worth it to a) Finally have a phone that people have chargers for, b) say that you spent less money on an iPhone than you would on a can of Coke, and c) live to tell the story?

Yes, you. Yes it will.