Sweet baby Jesus, this looks terrifying. 

Going 70 miles per hour in a car is dangerous enough. But when you're doing it on something that can spit you off instantly if it hits a tiny pebble, that's a whole new level of crazy.

His name is Zak Maytum, he lives here in Boulder, and he's a complete badass. And he thinks that hitting 70 isn't that big of a deal. 

“That's not uncommon for us. On a World Cup track in 2015, almost every course goes 60 mph at least once. You really don't notice it that much anymore. Once you know you can stop and you are in control, you relax a lot and are just thinking about what's coming up down the road,” Maytum said in a recent interview. 

We tried to match his speed, but after eating shit on an embarrassingly small hill and ripping our favorite shirt, we gave up. He wins. 

Longboarding down roads like this is illegal and fineable anyway, which seems like a good enough excuse to never try it again. 

“The fine is for ‘toy on a road,’,” he said, “The fine ranges from 18 to 26 dollars.”

This guy must have a hard time buying pants, on account of his massive, massive balls. 

Yeah, the part where he gets the speed wobbles made us want to cry too.