The evolution of prose has never been so quick. Here are a few misfit phrases and words that irk us in ways comparable only to things like bed bugs and starched undergarments.

Never allow this to appear twisted, because words are our bread and butter. We love words. Nothing — aside from the occasional fourth-meal — makes us happier.

And there’s no other entity out there that has shifted the sphere of verbiage more so than the web. With every sign-on journey it’s like a whole new world of slang and common speak. “Twerk” this and “literally” that inundate us at every click. The evolution of prose has never been so quick. There are, however, a few misfits thrown in there that irk us in ways comparable only to things like hungry bed bugs and starched undergarments. These are some of those phrases and words that have to go in 2015, lest the speaker of them be left in the past with all the other slowpokes.

“Killed it”

Killed what? Killed it; what is it? This phrase doesn’t even make any sense, especially when it’s overused to describe musicians on stage currently performing to the best of their abilities. “(Insert trending band name here) is absolutely killing it right now.”

Are we missing something? We can see instruments being played and the tones inside of our ears are enjoyable, yes, but from our vantage point, there isn’t a soul on stage thrusting objects into another human being rendering them lifeless.

Unless we’re hunting trophies adorned in some sort of sick camo gear, killing should only be used to maintain its actual definition. Please.


Look, the last few decades have been chock-full of witty portmanteaus, each more hilarious and descriptive than the previous (Sharknado? Brilliant.), but when they’re half-assedly used to chuck insults towards fashion-fawning nobodies, then it’s simply gone too far.

“Lumbersexual” as an insult is about as effective as “Chin-beard” — they both literally mean nothing and only act as red flags to decipher between bullying asshats and every other person. Never pay any mind to the haters. Like any of us should care what middle-aged bloggers with roommates think?

“Lumbersexual” isn’t a thing, nor will it ever be.


This what? Again, what is this?

The sharability of online articles has become as much of an art form as chewing on your own thigh has in the past few years, and really, not much else is needed aside from a click-baity headline or a colorful stolen photo. But relentlessly adding “this” and only "this" as a description before sharing information to an awaiting friendslist is only excess work.

Let’s cut out all the fatty, superfluous determiners in 2015.


Is Internet security really at such a low point that hundreds of artists each year are having their tracks or movies “leaked” before official release dates? It’s unbelievably unlikely, which is why we should stop buying into the notion that anything is secretly being given us as a gift from some dopey hacker.

If a production team comes out and says something was stolen and leaked, well shit yeah people want to consume it immediately. It gives a piece mystery and intrigue. But how long can this word stay relevant when it’s being used thirteen times a week?

This year, let’s just assume when an artist uses the word “leaked” they’re lying.

“Can’t Even”

This one hurts our soul. We love this phrase. There are so many palpable layers here it drives us crazy, and we just. can’t. even. because of it. Should we really say goodbye to the ubiquitous phrase made popular by so many white girls worldwide? It’s so good!

Sigh, shrug, sad face, yes, we should. While we don’t want to let go right now, it’s for the better.

“We Out Here”

Your, you’re … its, it’s — these things are made into rules for reasons. We’re not toddlers, nor struggling with severe displaced tongue impairments as a whole; let’s all try and use standards to our advantage. It’s not that the saturated use of slang makes anyone sound stupid … no, yep, it makes everyone sound stupid.

As a new rule moving forward, if a grammatically trained grandma can’t understand it, best to leave it in the past.

“So, This Is Happening”

Either you need a long drawn out descriptive explanation of what’s going on in a particular instance or you don’t. This middle-ground drama is redundancy at its finest. Our future goals in the office are to stop being so wordy, needy and heavy — make them yours too.

Runner Up:


The action of so many around the world to combat corruption is an inspiring cultural investment. No time in recent memory have such powerful groups of people stood against wrong while attempting to shift the needle into the right.

What’s frustrating about it, however, is the disturbing realization of intention. Fight for what’s right, that’s good. Fight for something to be a part of the unified mob, that’s bad. Shouting a word like “solidarity” towards anything sounds more like an insult to opposing viewpoints than it does a bonding proclamation. What good does that do?

We need all sides to work together for causes without the hyperbole. It’s life, after all, we’re in this thing together, and none of us will make it out alive …