It’s no secret at this point; the earth is pretty screwed. Rising sea levels, record heatwaves and extreme droughts simply reinforce this logic. But while the vast majority of us are working overtime to make ends meet so we can afford a disaster survival kit, the billionaires are getting their apocalyptic timeshares nice and cozy for the end of days.

Vivos Europa One is where they’ll be staying, relaxing by the pool while the rest of you run around screaming and on fire. It is, by far, the most exclusive doomsday bunker on earth. With an entry fee of $35,000 alone and an actual unit cost of around $4 million, the prospect of “Earth 2.0:  The Remix” has already been priced out of reach for most of humanity.

Note: There is a discount model available in Indiana which can house a family of four for roughly $200K … because Indiana truly is the perfect place for the 99 percent of people who aren't the one percent. Viva Europa One, on the other hand, is in Rothenstein, Germany,  inside of a former soviet underground installation. Pinkies out.

Many of the world’s elite have already sealed their spots at Europa, including top surgeons, high ranking members of US military brass and the Hollywood elite, notes Vivos founder Robert Vicino. The structures are already all built, and are fully booked.

According to Tech Insider, the standard Vivos Europa model will include: a swimming pool, hair salon, nursery, TV and radio station, hospital, and a hydroponic garden. Hydroponic, huh? Doomsday priorities. Even stuffy one percenters know the earth won’t be the only thing burning come doomsday. Zing.

There’s also a wine cellar for those balmy apocalypse afternoons that just scream "Mendoza Malbec." And there's an armed security force, should the world’s elite need a personal mercenary army to unleash — just for old time’s sake.

Let’s take a look at how the other half — or actually the 1 percent — will be living while the rest of us slowly die off, enduring both the social and actual radioactive decay, living in small cannibalistic rogue packs. Cue the Thunderdome…


The cupboards are already fully stocked with 60 varieties of freeze-dried and canned foodstuffs, according to Vice, including spaghetti aglio e olio, skillet fried steak and decadent turtle brownies. On the fresher side, there’s even “tomato and zucchini salad fresh from the hydroponic garden” (Nice job, PR team. Nothing to see in this hydroponic garden except these boring zucchinis).

Leisure and Recreation

There’s a theater-style video room, with rows of plush recliners and ambient lighting where billionaires can watch re-runs of Coach under the stars while the nuclear winter settles in.

Pets Allowed

There’s also a kennel in the bunker.  As the earth slowly burns or is suddenly taken over by a superior alien race, it just wouldn’t feel like home without the family dog. This of course means–statistically speaking–more Tibetan Mastiffs will probably survive the apocalypse than actual humans.


There is an infirmary on site to tend to the rich in their pristine subterranean layer. While 33 million Americans still don’t have access to healthcare, this has already been handled in the event of an unforeseen, highly unlikely ‘end of days’ scenario, so the billionaire class won’t be bothered that inconvenient case of the sniffles comes Armageddon.

Sleeping Amenities

The cozy individual bedrooms come furnished with Sealy Presidential Pillowtop mattresses, 600 thread count ivory sheets and duvets amongst other things many of us currently don’t have like actual bed frames.

Now Hiring Apocalyptic Indentured Servants

A full time on-site staff will run the facilities, handling maintenance, kitchen work, staffing the state-of-the-art gastro brew pub, meaning even during the apocalypse, the working in service industry may be our only hope at paying rent. See you soon, Europa One staffing HR office.