Hooking up: It’s all in the stars … and the first few drinks.


The drive to prove yourself is very strong as Mars squares off with your moon this month. You’ll be bitchier and more headstrong than ever, and if your partner is sensitive and gentle, they’ll be turned off by your sudden asshat persona. If you’re with someone like that, be prepared for those attractions to fade. In that case, go looking for someone with a backbone (Scorpio, Pisces, Taurus) who understands the concept of angry sex.


Of all the zodiac signs, you’re probably the most bisexual. You’re naturally in touch with your desires and see labels and boundaries as arbitrary, so you’ve never really had a problem discounting gender as a qualifier for attraction. This effect is particularly strong this July, a month where you’re sure to find yourself salivating over everything that moves with equal force of boner. You’re casting a wide net, and what you catch is bound to be un-boring.


Sometimes, you have a tendency to get inside your own head, which really fucks with you on dates because instead of listening to what your date is saying, you’re analyzing what you say to them. Chill out on that. Practice listening to the person you’re trying to fuck; if you can’t repeat what they just said to you, there’s absolutely no reason why they’d want to perform the sensual, intense sex you’re expecting them to. Use your ears!


If your relationship seems a little stressed this month, it’s because you’re desperately in need of space. Whether you’ve got a fuck buddy or a full-time girlfriend/boyfriend situation, your proclivity towards infatuation has caused you to spend way too much time together, and you need some distance to gain an objective perspective of the situation. Doesn’t mean you have to cut each other off … just means you have to get really good at sending nudes from afar.


Every zodiac sign is associated with a body part, and for you, it’s the neck and throat. We know that doesn’t sound all that erotic, but if you can tap into that this July, your sex life will take a turn for the better. Licking, biting, light choking, collars and soft, titillating neck kisses will all appeal to you more than usual this month, so find someone that’s willing to turn that stump your head sits on into the erogenous zone it deserves to be.


Being an air sign, you tend to have somewhat of an oral fixation. Your mouth is constantly open as you spew knowledge and opinions, or go down on babes, but this month, you start become less oral-centric and a lot more interested in what’s below the belt. No, not that. Further down. Further … okay, stop. If you stopped at the feet, congratulations! Say hello to your new fetish. You can thank the Earth signs in conjunction with your home planet of Mercury for that.


For you, sex is best when it’s with someone you have a genuine, caring connection with. But, this July, be prepared for the opposite to occur — your chart is rife with the potential for wanton, casual sex, meaning you might find yourself in a situation where you care nothing about the person, and the sex is terrible. Don’t let this make you feel shitty, all this experience is just helping you build character so you’re less of a wet blanket.


The stars are sending you all sorts of signals this month that the pathway to love is through your stomach. For whatever reason, you’re ordinarily hungry, and anyone who displays mastery over food preparation incites a staggering boner within you. Exploit this influence by going out to eat as much as you can. You’re likely to find someone with a similar passion for using their mouths for something other than head in the restaurant realm … although head’s cool too.


Your remarkable ability not to get jealous will serve you well this month when the person you’re boning starts to take interest in someone else. Instead of getting pissed or taking it personally, you take a genuine interest in exploring that person’s attraction. You’re even kind of turned on by it. Someone get you a fucking medal, honestly, because this month, you display a Herculean understanding and kinkyness other signs would kill for.


You’ve got an ultra-kinky teacher/student thing going for you this month, Libra. Many of your planets are in the ninth house, meaning you’ve got a craving to both learn and to teach what you know. The more you can put yourself in situations where you doing one of those things, the more likely you are to meet someone that advances your knowledge in some field, something that makes you wetter than your eyes during that Sarah McLachlan SPCA commercial.


You’re still recovering from a monumental recent heartbreak, and as you get back on your feet, you’ll probably start to notice that your relationships with females improve exponentially over the next month. There’s a lot of feminine energy in your chart, and while not all of it is necessarily romantic, tapping into your “soft side” is honestly the only thing that’s gonna get you out of this sex rut. Your vibrator can only take so much abuse, you know?


This July, you love love so much that you’ve kind of forgotten about sex. While you’ve got all the makings of a blissful romance in the works, the inherently naughty side of your personality has been deflated a bit by the extreme pleasure of cuddling, dates and talking. Don’t let this go too far though; at your core, you’re a fuckin’ freak that can’t be tamed, so make every effort to turn those cuddles into cuckolds before you turn back into a virgin.