What's good, accountants named Charmaine?

As human beings, we have an innate need to classify and categorize things, and boy, oh boy, do we get off on compartmentalizing the world into manageable mental boxes. That's why we rabidly click on articles like this … you know, ones that try to search for some connection between us and an easily-characterizable things?

"21 Things only people named Jessica will understand."

"How being named Kyle can influence your masturbation habits."

… And so on.

In this case, that little, human-esque connection we're looking for is between our names and our jobs.

This recent survey by Verdant Labs tried to discover what the most common names in particular job fields were, and the results were … illuminating, to say the least.

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To create this name-job cloud thing, Verdant Labs used public records to map out the six names that have the highest percentage of showing up in a given profession. Their results didn't necessarily indicate what the most common name in each job field is per se, rather, it simply reports which names show up disproportionately often in certain job types.  For example, people named Louise are perhaps more likely to becomes judges than people named Kurt, a weird amount of whom are graphic designers … but that doesn't necessarily mean most judges are named Louise and most Kurts are graphic designers.

In fact, as you and we both know, most Kurts are deceased rock band members who write shitty songs about deodorant.

Interestingly, even though we want to, we can't really debate the truthfulness of these name clouds. We're pretty sure we can all rifle off a couple famous Micks or Eddies who've picked up a guitar. Who amongst us doesn't know a rancher named Leland? And honestly … what rabbi isn't named Shlomo around these parts?

To top it all off, our hairdresser is definitely named Lori, so it's looking like there might be some validity to these claims (btw Lori, we asked for a trim, not a scalping.)

The only mystery that remains here is why journalists are disproportionately named Gideon, Angus, and Alastair. Last time we checked, that was the line-up at the recent witchcraft covenant cult seance we went to, not our monthly magazine redlining meeting, but hey … maybe we're just not doing our jobs right?

Also, accountants … Charmaine? Charmaine?! Is that a type of French cheese or a person who constantly reminds you you're hemorrhaging money in the name of unnecessesary purchases? You be the judge of that. Er, sorry … you be the Louisa of that.

This survey isn't the the only one to try to characterize people's habits and behaviors based on their names though … this recent survey connected each state with the name of the person that committed the most crime, proving once and for all that Jeremys are not to be trusted.