They were perfect in every way, except one: they put pineapple on their pizza.
We could have been lovers — divorcees, even — were it not for our extreme pettiness around his one bad habit. But alas, the fact that pineapple belongs in a tropical drink, not an Italian delight, is part of the order and reason that keeps the fabric of our reality intact. His pineapple pizza habit threatened to tear it down.
Thankfully, we're not alone in our extreme pettiness around dating. As a recent, explosively popular Reddit thread proves, plenty of people have equally, if not more trivial reasons for refusing to date someone.
Here are some of the more charming ones we found:
1. "He tucked his sweater into his jeans." – weasel999
2. "Having the same name as my mother." – tinkletinklehoy
3. "He once came with his eyes open and crossed. Just really freaked me out. I could never get the picture of his face out of my mind after that." – Chase_Baldwin
4. "Had an ex who I really liked, but her face when she came made me so uncomfortable. Her face always got so red, her neck bulged, mouth open. I've seen people die in movies with the same exact face … The worst part was she absolutely insisted on unflinching eye contact whenever she came. Like she would grab my head if her hands were free and hold my face in front of hers." – greekgodgrizz
5. "My roommate recently told me about a girl he was dating for a few weeks. Was never anything serious and this was a few months ago and he told me that her voice just irritated him for some reason, but not enough to break up with her at the time, though months later he realized why: she spoke exactly like Ducky from The Land Before Time, yes she did, yes yes yes!" – NCEMTP
6. "If you drag your feet everywhere you fucking go every day of your life i probably wont like you." – the_dough_boy
7. "Broke up with a girl after a week because she constantly talked about being British and was saying every other sentence in a British accent. She was born in Kentucky …" – 88Dubs
8. "Who's your favorite artist?" "Pitbull." – n33dmorecowbell
9. "I broke up with a guy because he ate all of my corn dogs. I was working a 12 hour shift (he refused to get a job), and all through my shift I was just excited that I could go home and eat a corn dog. That mf and his friends ate all 24 corn dogs within the 12 hours while I was working. They had previously done this with my Digornio's and lunch meat, but this was on another level." – tigrovna
10. "There was one who told me I was cutting green peppers the wrong way… I was doing it a way that Gordon Ramsay does it, but with fewer steps. He cuts the entire top off, then the entire bottom, while I cut a side off, then another side so it trims closer to the stem while keeping the core intact so you don't have to pick seeds out of it. What she didn't like was the fact that I cut long strips from the sides, then rotated them and diced them. I was making my own recipe that required pieces of a specific size. I let her cut a pepper just to see what she thought was right, and she more or less butchered the entire thing. We went our separate ways a week later." – MouthOfTheGiftHorse
11. "If the neck hole on his shirt is too wide." – fox_ontherun
12. "She uses internet explorer out of choice." – HM_THE_KING
13. "He was allergic to fucking pizza." – Deadbeet
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