In the heat of a vigorous humping, the last thing a dude wants to do is check your pulse.

Unfortunately, we women have a tendency to become passive rag-dolls during sex, laying motionless and letting our partners do the hard labor.

In a time when we’re expected to perform like porn stars, being a dead fish in bed is a real letdown — not just for your partner, but for yourself.

After all, being active between the bedsheets is about more than becoming a better lay. Taking control is empowering, and that newfound energy and enthusiasm is infectious. For a more fulfilling fuck for all parties involved, prove that you’re alive with these mid-love-making strategies.



Unless they’re handcuffed to the bedposts, your hands should be put to use. Scratch, caress, stroke, grab or grope. Whatever combination you choose, use touch to tell your partner that you can’t get enough.

Some men love to have their backs scratched, although they vary on how much abuse they favor. One guy might prefer a gentle graze up and down, while another wants you to dig your nails in and claw him like a rabid cat. There’s a razor-thin line between pain and pleasure, so you never know where a dude might draw that line.

Scratch anywhere your hands can reach, like his head, arms, chest or buttcheeks. Run your hands through his hair and try pulling on it.

Play with yourself — cause Lord knows he’s probably making his penis priority number one — or guide his hands to where you want to be touched.


Fellas love validation, so at the very least, give him some feedback with moans, sighs and grunts. If you’re comfortable getting more vocal, tell him how good it feels or what he’s doing that you like. Better yet, tell him what you want him to do.

Dirty talk is a major boner-booster for most men, although it might feel strange to newbies. Just start off small, allowing yourself to moan when it feels good, and work your way up to words.

For the most part, it’s better to be specific. Don’t limit yourselves to “that feels nice” when you can explicitly  tell him how much you love his hard dick inside you.

Of course, don’t force it. Say what you want to say — not what you think your partner wants to hear. Be authentic, and your filthy mouth can take you far.


Embrace what separates you from a dead fish — where it has a scaly tail, you have a human vagina, hips and legs.

In nearly any position, you can move your hips to match his rhythm. In missionary, you can lift your hips up to help him get a deeper thrust, or wrap your legs around him to pull him closer into you.

But if participation from the bottom isn’t cutting it, try getting on top. They call this position “cowgirl,” because you can ride the dick like a rodeo bull, thrusting and grinding from above.

Up here, there are endless angles and positioning. You can lean all the way forward so your chest is close to his, sit straight up while bouncing up and down, or put your hands on his shins behind you, lean back, and slide your hips forward and back.


At the end of the day, your partner just wants proof that you’re enjoying yourself. If you’re doing something with your hands, being vocal, gyrating/working your hips to enhance the guy’s rhythm, or occasionally suggesting (or demanding) a change in position, then rest assured — you’re pulling your weight in Pound Town.