Paul was 27 years old when he got a vasectomy — the ol' Flop and Chop. Unlike the vast majority of the 500,000 men in the U.S. who get snipped every year, Paul was single, relatively young, and had no children.
Then, he caught his girlfriend of four years throwing her contraceptive pill down the sink.
“It was then that it hit me: as a man I have almost no control over my reproductive choices shy of a vasectomy,” Paul says.
Many young men have come to the same conclusion and decide to take contraception into their own hands. Their experiences differ drastically, but there’s an overarching theme among them: getting the procedure is difficult. It’s not because they struggle to accept the idea of never having kids, but because their doctors, family, partners, friends, strangers and the culture at large rail against them.
“Spending 18 plus years catering to the needs of another and setting your own life on the back burner doesn’t sound like a good time to me, especially when there’s so much in this world to do and see.”
–Mathew, vasectomy at 19
“I have expensive hobbies. I’ve biked across America. I have a pilot’s license. It all boils down to financials. If I don’t have kids, I can work more and have more career growth. I don’t want to have to check out at 28.”
–Mike, vasectomy at 26
“My brother used to be a nationally ranked kite surfer, but he’s only been a handful of times since my niece was born. Many friends have sold project cars or motorbikes etc. since having kids. It’s almost like they lose their identity when they have a child. I regularly hear ‘I wish I could still still travel/have a fun car/ride a motorcycle again’ from these friends.”
–Paul, vasectomy at 27
“They’d tell me I’d regret it or try to instill doubt by asking, ‘What if you change your mind?’ I’d patiently respond that it wasn’t a spur of the moment decision and I knew what I was getting into.”
“Strangers are the ones that are the most rude, the presumption is you’ll change your mind because you’re still young.”
“Someone from work found out and then the whole office knew. I have to justify my decision not to have a child, but no one ever seems to have to justify a decision to have one … that always gets to me. Random people who don’t know me think that it’s ok to insult me and tell me I’ll die alone.”
“It depends on the young man, where they’re at in life, what they want out of life. If they have a good head on their shoulders, aren’t prone to rash decisions, and genuinely know in their heart of hearts that willingly becoming sterile is something they need to do to maximize their enjoyment in life, then yes, absolutely.”
“Would I recommend it. Yes. I definitely would. But only if you’re sure you don’t want kids of course. The best upside is the sex. Knowing that after I cum I have nothing to worry about. It has made my sex amazing. No stress.”