And to think, we weren't going to watch it. 

You have to give it to Obama, the guy knows how to give a great speech. While he delivered on what most people likely wanted to hear, there were a few places he could improve on. But when we took in the entire speech, we realized a lot of the lessons learned could easily be translatable to the bedroom.

You were once lost, but with the State of the Union speech, you're now found. 

>> Don’t pussy foot around

The State of the Union delivered an amazing aura of hope, inspiration and an optimistic outlook that we can be whatever SAT prep-question we want to be. Unfortunately, the speech lacked a specific plan of how Obama will implement these changes to keep the American people from crushing his approval rating. If you’d like to keep your foreplay approval rating at high marks, we suggest you make a plan before heading South of the equator. It can be dark, disorienting and damn right debilitating with you eventually losing consciousness and the feeling in your tongue — and coming to with a gentle tap on the shoulder.

Get a game plan.

>> Be selfish

Sometimes you’ll have to be narcissistic to get the job done. Obama’s stuck to his guns on certain issues and you have to give it to the guy, he doesn’t budge or succumb to external pressures. You too will have to take matters into your own hands and make sure that the agenda you’re delivering hits the right mark — multiple times. Don’t let outside stimuli deter your intended mission like television background noise or the fact that the cats licking your toe. You came into the bedroom for a particular reason, and you’re not leaving until the mission is accomplished. Note: don’t pull a George W. Bush and leave too early though, that isn’t good for anyone, nor your morning-after approval rating.

Be constructive.

>> Don’t be predictable

Probably the worst thing about the State of the Union is the predictability of the stand up and sit down atmosphere that truly ostracizes the senators and makes for an uncomfortable television experience. Especially when the topic should be a universal policy all senators agree upon and only half the room stands — it’s a microcosm of the overarching problem of congress not getting along. That leads us to our most important point of the article, you need to make sure you’re listening to what they want. Spelling the ABCs with your tongue, giving the pinch and twist and trying the one move from Sorority Sleepover 12 are all acceptable, just as long as you’re receptive to they’re responses. Listen to them and act accordingly. You’ll be amazed at how well the element of surprise pays dividends in the long run whether you’re looking to pass gun laws or get your gun off.

Impulsivity is fun.

>> Smoozing isn’t a bad thing

Obama has the right ideas, but he lacks the sales pitch necessary to get both Democrats and Republicans to get on the same page. Sometimes, you’re going to have to do things that you don’t want to do, but will eventually result in the goal you were achieving. Foreplay is essential, and it’s important you don’t just shoot right down to the pot of gold. Take your time, kiss the neck, touch on the erotic zones and bring in a little teasing action to really get the engines running. With time, you’ll realize these little steps in the beginning ultimately win over the recipient and will turn them into putty in your palm. And that friends, is never a bad thing.

Address others' needs too.