Why even go there?

Whether by choice or circumstance, we've all experienced the displeasure of the dry spell.

For one reason or another, we're just not flailing our nude genitals atop those of another, and we enter the realm of abstinence as cobwebs spread across our groins and we welcome a flock of bats to nest between our legs.

Many an urban legend attempts to rationalize the lack of sex you're experiencing with lore that spins celibacy in a positive light. According to myth, no sex will make you harder, better, faster, stronger, smarter, tighter and more zen, but in reality? Nah.

None of that is true.

There is currently no empirical evidence to support the idea that abstinence has any sort of benefit whatsoever. Unless you're a nun who's never had sex and never will, celibacy is about as good for you as a virus hotdog smothered in sadness.

Instead, studies have shown that a lack of sex is actually detrimental to your mental and physical health. Basically, no butt = a worse version of you. It's not going to kill you, but abstinence definitely isn't doing you any favors.

Here are six things science has shown happen to your body when you stop having sex.

1. You might dry up a bit

When you have frequent sex, your vagina lubricates more regularly in anticipation of whatever person or object you decide to put in there. However, sexual health experts point out that abstinence can disrupt the lubrication process, and you might have a harder time getting wet after a dry spell (hence the name "dry spell"). Lubrication is as much mental as it is physical though, so know that there's nothing wrong with you if you're a little dry down there; you might just need some help in the arousal department.

2. Erectile dysfunction

You'd think that periods of abstinence would make boners across the land more responsive to touch and stimulation, but that's not necessarily the case.

In fact, studies have shown that refraining from sex actually increases the likelihood of erectile dysfunction in men. To be fair, most of these studies have been conducted on older gentlemen, but they all make the conclusion that regular sexual activity is beneficial for the ol' penis.

There's also evidence that regular ejaculations can help men avoid prostate cancer, but we're pretty sure you can deal with that on your own. Thanks, porn/ alien abduction fantasy!

3. Your immune system won't work as well

Regular sexual activity is actually one of the most positive contributors to your body's immune system. That's why if you're not having sex, you're much more prone to illness and infections than you would be if you were face deep in butt. One study showed that having sex at least once a week is enough to keep your immune system at optimal levels … but it's not like you'll magically fall ill, stricken with some form of cancerous restless leg diabetes if you go a few months without getting laid. It's more just that human connection and orgasm keep your body primed and ready to keep you healthy.

4. You might dumb down a bit

There's an old wives' tale propagated mostly by the teachings of Tantra that abstinence makes you more intelligent, imbuing you with some sort of Limitless-esque mental clarity and fortitude. Nope!

There's some evidence that temporary breaks from orgasm can increase focus, but in reality, a prolonged lack of boning actually has the opposite effect. Abstinence, it seems, can actually maker you dumber by interfering with your capacity to learn.

Studies have determined that sex actually encourages neuron growth in the brain's hippocampus, where a large portion of new memories are formed. Abstinence, on the other hand, does not make the brain grow at all. In fact, it doesn't make anything grow. Penis, we're looking at you.

5. Your libido might drop

This one's debated a bit in the science community.

Some experts see regular sex as a way of "stoking the fire" of your libido, believing that periods of abstinence will lessen your desire over time due to the decreasing response of arousal hormones in the face of sexual solitude. Others disagree, arguing that dry spells can enhance libido.

It may be more of a personal matter that hinges more on your own libidinal patterns and sexual experiences, but either way, it might take a little more to turn you on once you've locked your chastity belt and swallowed the key.

6. You may react more poorly to stress

Small studies have found that people who aren't getting laid react to stress in more maladaptive ways than people who are. Abstinent humanoids seem to have higher blood pressure spikes in response to stressful situations, which can lead to anger and overreaction. Meanwhile, sex having boys and girls tend to react in a calmer, more relaxed manner.

Of course, if you don't have a partner, these negative effects can be worrisome. Don't worry too hard though; none of them are going to kill you, and once you start having sex again, your body will magically spring back into action like the majestic reproductive machine it thinks it is.

In the meantime though, masturbation can take care of most of these problems, especially with boosting your immune system and keeping your libido on track.

Interestingly however, a temporary reprieve from masturbation itself can be helpful for men. For women? Not so much, at least according to one of our female writer's experiments with masturbation cessation. Turns out women need to get off even more than men do, which makes sense because babies and stuff.

What does all this mean for your weekend? Have sex before you go to the airport. Have sex after a hard day at work. Have sex when someone cuts you off while you're driving. Have sex when you're having sex, then have sex.