What to say, how to say it, and some NSFW inspiration for turning dirty talk into your native language.
If you don't know how to do it right, talking dirty can intimidating. Say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and the mood gets slaughtered like a thousand virgins at an Aztec sun ritual. Say it to the wrong person, and the encounter is the most awkward thing that ever happened to your life.
But, say the right thing at the right time, and it makes sex hotter than the sun at an Aztec sun ritual, which is hot. Those dudes were equatorial.
That's why we've compiled this incredibly NSFW guide to dirty talk for you. Not only will it help you find the right words for the moment, but it'll help you figure out how and when to say them. There's even a little section at the end tells you what not do to, in case you're that kind of learner.
Read on for pleasure:
WHAT TO SAY
First off, it doesn't matter what you say, it's how and when you say it
Get the idea out of your mind that there's a right thing to say. What's way more important, and way hotter, is that you say what's on your mind in a way that's comfortable for everyone. Because every situation and relationship is so different, there's no vocabulary that's right for dirty talk; it's a much more stream of consciousness kind of thing. So, if you had any reservations about doing it, take the pressure off yourself to figure out the right thing to say.
That being said, there's a few methods of speech that work pretty good when you're tongue-tied about what to say.
One of the easiest ways to talk dirty is to tell someone what you want them to do, either to you or to themselves. There's no creative thought involved; you're not whipping up penis haiku in your head; you're just giving a command.
Example: "I want you to slowly run your lips up and down my cock" or "Fuck me in front of the window."
If you like something about someone or what they're doing, telling them is a easy-ass way to talk dirty.
Example: "You look so fucking hot from this angle," or "Your pussy feels so good."
When you know someone's into what you're doing, asking them if they like it or if they want it harder/softer/deeper is another easy way to connect verbally. Asking questions shows you're in tune with their body and can recognize their pleasure, and also have the capability to give them more. It kind of shows your mastery, which is hot as shit.
If they're not into something you're doing, as in making no sound or grimacing or being paralyzed, asking them if what you're doing is okay or if they're comfortable is really important, but not necessarily talking dirty. That's the difference between communicating during sex and talking dirty; talking dirty is usually done in the throes of pleasure or seduction, whereas communication (which can include talking dirty but doesn't have to) is check in with each other and see if everything is comfortable.
Example: "Do you like when I touch your clit?" or "Do you want me to look at you when I'm sucking your cock?"
One of the hottest things ever is when someone tells you how they've been fantasizing about you, or something else that turns you both on. This one's tricky, because you have to know your partner (partners?) well enough to know it would turn them on to talk about your fantasies, but if you can get that right, holy shit …
Example: "I got so hard thinking about that photo you sent me today …" or "I want to tie you up" or "I can't stop thinking about how good you'd look in latex."
Erotic literature OMG
The other hottest thing ever is when someone reads something erotic to you. Neither of you have to think about what to say or how to respond because someone else's words and scenarios are being read. All you have to do is appreciate the kink of that, or place yourself in those scenarios mentally.
Example: Reading last night's football scores out loud — just kidding, we don't know what the fuck you read, go find something hot or check out our erotic book list here.
Insult and humiliate
If you're the right person, being called a "dirty little slut" or a "fucking pervert" during sex can be orgasm-worthy. If you're the wrong person, it's borderline rape-y. So, if you're into insult and humilation, make sure your partner is too. Don't try it out without asking your partner what they'd think if you said something like, "You're a worthless fuckboy" during sex. Potentially so awkward, potentially so worth it.
“Just lie back and let me make you cum.”
“You taste so good.”
“You can have me any way you want."
“Look how ready I am. Don’t you want to put your dick in there?”
"I want you so fucking bad."
"I want to rub my pussy all over your face.”
“Come all over my tits.”
"I want to feel how tight your ass is."
"Fuck me like you picture yourself fucking me when you touch yourself."
"No one fucks me like you do."
"Your cock is right on my G-Spot and I want to explode."
"I love it when your tits bounce up and down when you're on top of me."
"Touch yourself and let me watch you."
"Tell me what you want to do to me."
"I'll fuck you in whatever hole I want." (Obviously with consent)
"I'll tell you when you can come."
"Get on your hands and knees."
… And so on.
HOW TO SAY IT
Modulate your voice
Husky, lightly-growling whispers are really hot for foreplay and when you're the one doing something to your partner; they convent intent and confidence.
Slightly exasperated, slightly higher pitched voices and moaning statements are super hot when someone's doing something to you; it makes it seem like you can't talk normally because it feels so good.
Soft, direct, slow enunciation is hot because it makes you seem calculated, collected and sensual.
Emphasize certain words
Keywords are the main vehicle of all communication; when someone's talking to you, you barely notice the conjunctions and useless other parts of speech that we forgot what they're called because high school was 10 years ago … you pick up on keywords. So, when you're talking dirty, use your voice to emphasize certain keywords that you know will turn your partner on.
We're going to write out the example phonetically so it makes sense …
Example: "FUCK (me) harder." When you say that to yourself, say it as if you're slowly pronouncing the word "fuck," losing the word "me" in a gasp, and saying the word "harder" with some intent.
Ear and eye contact
When you talk dirty to someone, it's glorious when you look in their eyes and say it, or lightly brush your lips against their ear. So, do that. Good talk.
When you're talking dirty, confidence is essential. It sounds really weird to say "Suck my dick" apologetically and feebly. Just say it meekly to yourself. It's weird right?
So, anytime you're saying something to someone, put away any insecurities you have about how weird your desires are or how fat you physical appearance is and say it like you have complete control over the person and the situation. Eye contact helps convey confidence too, so deal with that.
WHEN TO SAY IT
This is the least important part of talking dirty because it's entirely dependent on what you're doing. The only real rule here is to say something dirty when it feels right. You know how when you're fucking there's little interludes or moments of intensity where you feel like you want to say something but you don't know what? Say it then.
Talking dirty during foreplay, and shit, even before you guys start making out can be really hot if you know the person you're talking to is going to fuck you, but doing that to a stranger is presumptuous as shit.
Talking dirty after sex is also pretty cool, if you leave out statements like "I want you to …" Instead, compliment them, tell them what you were thinking about, say what you want them to do to you next time, or say something like "I can't feel my lower extremities."
DON'T DO THIS
1. Refer to your partner's genitalia as either "her" or "him."
2. Do the Mommy/Daddy thing unless you're both comfortable with it, that can freak someone the fuck out.
3. Talk dirty the entire time … enjoy yourself; this isn't a theatrical monologue for your Rent audition. Shut up sometimes; the permeating silence will make the words more powerful when you do say them.
4. Describe something that you're currently doing. For example, telling a girl "I'm sucking your tits" is super annoying if you're already doing that, and makes you seem incredulous that you're doing it at all which is gross.
5. Tell anyone they have bigger body parts than they do. If the dude's dick you're sucking is small, don't be like "Your cock is so fucking big," because it's not. He has eyes. It's attached to his lower torso. He's seen it. Same with boobies.
6. Tell someone you want to do something to them and then never do it. If you whisper "I want to make you come," and you don't, then fuck you!