My girlfriend is afraid of sex toys. How do I get her comfortable enough to use them?
Before you start nudging a butt plug into her poop chute, take the time to talk to your girlfriend and understand her opposition to sex toys. Is she resistant due to lack of experience with sex toys or a negative experience with sex toys? It’s an important distinction.
It’s possible that your girlfriend had a traumatic incident with a sex toy — like a vibrator’s exposed wire electrocuting her pussy or a butt plug removal resulting in her pooping all over the white suede Pier 1 loveseat. If she wants to tell you about her harrowing experience and attempt to overcome it, wonderful. You can help her feel comfortable, prevent the same mistakes and re-wire her brain’s association of sex toys with an electrified vulva or a $5,000 bill to reupholster the shit-soaked sofa.
If your girlfriend is resistant to sex toys due to inexperience, the best way to ease her into experimentation is to have her lead the process. Go shopping with her and let her pick out her own toy. Beginners often gravitate toward vibrators designed for clitoral stimulation that are small, nondescript and often shaped like bullets or tubes of lipstick. If she wants to add penetration into the mix, rabbit vibrators provide both vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation. If it’s too intimidating to bring any foreign object near her vagina, try a simple blindfold and restraints.
If she’s ever going to enjoy this sexual exploration, your girlfriend has to feel in control of the situation and the sex toy — not paranoid about past traumas or forced to indulge your fantasies of slamming her pussy with the XP20-XS MonsterCock JackHammer Deluxe.
I’ve always been able to get wet during sex, but lately I’m struggling to stay lubricated. Why is my vagina so dry and what can I do about it?
Sex health experts say there are a myriad of reasons why it might feel like someone tossed sawdust into your snatch, including certain medications, hormonal changes, stress, or lack of sexual arousal.
Lower estrogen levels can lead to a bone-dry vagina when taking a new birth control pill, after having a baby, or at the time of menopause. Medications like antidepressants or antihistamines can cause dryness, as well as self-medicating with alcohol and/or cigarettes.
Since women’s sexual gratification is 99% mental, it’s also highly likely that penetration feels like punching a hole in the drywall because you’re not turned on enough. Not every partner can get your genitals purring as much as that scene from The Terminator where you see Arnold Schwartznegger’s supple, sculpted, bare ass. You might need to communicate with your partner about changing up your sex acts, providing more foreplay, or putting that scene from The Terminator on the TV in the background.
No matter the problem, lube provides the solution. A little lube goes a long way towards relieving the pressure to have a specific sexual response, dissolving feelings of humiliation or inadequacy and transforming your sandpaper pussy into a slip-n-slide.
LUBING ON UNEMPLOYMENT
Now that you’ve lost your extra $600 per week of unemployment benefits, you’ll need to find new ways to lube up on a budget. Here's a few options:
- Olive oil
- Virgin Coconut Oil
- Egg Whites
- Aloe Vera
- Mom's Hand Lotion
Have a burning question that needs answers or ointment? Email Lindsey at: lindsey@theRooster.com