Recently, I found myself in the midst of a battle among sex educators.

In one corner: Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross, a team of sexologists who have spent decades bringing better orgasms to men and women around the world.

In the other corner: Deborah Sundahl, a pioneer in female sexuality and author of the lady ejaculation Bible, “Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot.”

I reached out to these women to learn about squirting, something that pornography had taught me was the Holy Grail of female climax. Sundahl, the leading expert on the subject, swears there’s no better sensation than “spraying the wall,” the result of G-spot orgasm. Dodson and Ross disagree; they favor the clitoral climax.

The sexperts have drastically different perspectives on the key to ladies' pleasure, and threw me into the crosshairs of a spirited debate — which is the better orgasm? The clitoral orgasm or the G-spot orgasm?

Sundahl will tell you without a moment’s hesitation: the G-spot gives women the superior orgasm. The terrible tragedy is that not many women know how to enjoy their G-spot. They might even doubt it exists.

That’s why Sundahl holds workshops that teach women where their G-spot is and how to have a G-spot orgasm. When the women find this hidden trigger on the roof of their vagina, they can stimulate it until it releases a wave of lady-ejaculate. Most people recognize this as “squirting,” but Sundahl prefers to call it “letting your feminine fountain flow.”

“The women who come to my workshops are trying to break a clitoral habit that they’re seeing has its limits,” Sundahl tells me. “There’s something more here and they want it. They’re wanting more of a connection with their erotic body — a deeper, stronger, full-bodied orgasm that leaves you deeply satiated. ”

In Sundahl’s classes, she doesn’t touch on the clitoris (figuratively or literally) because she sees as it as the clear lesser of the climaxes.

“Female ejaculation is much better than a clitoral orgasm,” she says. “In my lectures, I’ll ask the women for one word to describe their G-spot orgasm: explosive, volcanic, screaming, universal, bliss. These are powerful words. When you use the G-spot to build pleasure, your whole body starts to shudder and shake until you have an explosive orgasm with explosive ejaculate and feel invigorated and satisfied.”

Despite Sundahl’s epic portrayal of the G-spot’s potential, Dodson and Ross are champions of the clitoris. They don’t even consider female ejaculation a true “orgasm.”

“Squirting is not the same as having an orgasm,” Dodson tells me.

“Ejaculation can accompany an orgasm, but it's not an orgasm in and of itself,” Ross agrees.

Dodson and Ross say squirting can actually prevent some women from reaching the ultimate climax — the clitoral orgasm.

See, some women who ejaculate effortlessly and profusely are embarrassed by their sexual release, and those insecurities can get in the way of their pleasure. Plus, they don’t want to destroy their 1,000 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets or feel compelled to lay down towels or seran wrap the mattress when a romantic moment arises.

“After realizing what a mess it made, many women wanted to know how to stop squirting,” Dodson says. “The thing to remember is that women who do experience squirting say it's not the same or as good as having a clitoral orgasm. Just the same as a man ejaculating without orgasm. A good orgasm requires a sexual build-up.”

Sundahl, Dodson and Ross all agree: Build-up is a key ingredient to the ideal orgasm. They just don’t agree how to achieve it.

“Today, edging as in "holding off orgasm" is preferred by sophisticated masturbators,” Dodson says.

Ross explains, “when you're about to orgasm, pull back for a minute or two and don't come.  Do that a few times and when you finally orgasm, it will be so intense. You have to build sexual energy, and all you need is your clitoris.”

In the battle of the orgasms, there’s no winners or losers, because there’s no need to limit yourself to only one type of pleasure. Spray the wall, flick the bean, or try both at the same time. When it comes to your clam, the world is your oyster.

[originally published March 2, 2018]