MEET THE DATERS
LAUREN
Age: 28
Zodiac sign: Taurus
Hometown: Atlanta, Ga.
Current job: Accounting Office at Country Club
First concert: Vans Warped Tour
Pets: Dog, ‘Boss-boy.’
What’s your type? Employed, sense of humour, intelligence.
Deal breakers: Someone who doesn’t understand my sense of humour cus then it’ll get awkward.
My friends would describe me as: Outgoing and friendly.
Celebrity crush: Jason Statham.
—–
CHADWICK
Age: 28
Hometown: Richmond, VA.
Current occupation: Pedal Hopper and Luxury Travel Company
Zodiac sign: Taurus
First concert: Phil Lesh and Friends
Pets: No pets.
What’s your type? Smart. Funny. Someone I can hold a conversation with.
Deal breakers: Super religious.
My friends would describe me as: A bit much … very exciting and over the top, I can be a little rambunctious sometimes
—–
THE LOCATION
The Goods Restaurant
2550 E Colfax Ave, Denver, Colo.
As our two daters get settled in to The Goods Restaurant, we can’t help but notice the chic vintage style of its interior and open view of Colfax Ave. — we’re so Denver right now. But first, time to brush the awkward off.
Describe your dating life in three words:
LAUREN: I don’t wanna.
CHADWICK: Sporadic, exhausting, seasonal.
Have you ever been on a blind date before?
L: First blind date other than being catfished a few times.
C: First blind date.
Where do you usually meet potential dates?
L: Usually just at bar.
C: Hinge sometimes and I meet a lot of people on the Pedal Hopper on the weekends; that’s where the seasonal part comes in.
What’s your go-to pickup strategy?
L: Pickup who?
C: Try to be funny, stick to observational humour.
What were you thinking before your Rooster Blind Date?
L: I was just hoping it wasn’t boring and I was keeping an eye out for the closest scooter just in case I needed to escape; the app was open when I walked up.
C: Nervous having no context, not a typical situation.
Did your friends give you any advice before the date?
L: Don’t be an idiot, from two different people.
C: Think about the answers and be yourself.
What are you looking for in a partner?
L: Someone with a mutual sense of humour where we can laugh at ourselves. I want someone who I have stuff in common.
C: Someone to be able to hang out with and enjoy doing things together, someone who wants to go to trivia night.
When you saw your date, what was the first thing that went through your mind?
L: I like that he’s tall and clean cut. I had no idea what to expect but I’m not upset.
C: Super nice and outgoing and quirky.
Are they into one another? The first impressions are out of the way, and neither of them have hopped on the 15L to aggressively GTFO of here. So if small talk hasn’t sealed it, we’re positive the upcoming chicken fried steak will — true love always happens over chicken fried steak in the movies …
How’s it going overall?
L: It’s going good. He’s a good conversationalist.
C: It’s going good, super nice, she’s from the south where I’m from. Might not necessarily be my type but she’s nice.
What are you two talking about?
L: Where we live, our roommates, where we’re from, our jobs.
C: Talking about our past roommates and how terrible they were.
What’s something interesting your date has shared with you?
L: He told me how he described his dating life in three words and that was pretty interesting.
C: She’s really into Avril Lavigne and is excited to see her this weekend.
Do you have any major similarities or differences?
L: I’m from Atlanta and he travels there a few times a year for work, so he’s familiar with where I’m from.
C: We’re both personable and not any major differences.
Where do you want the rest of the night to go?
L: Idk, I like talking to him so as of right now I’d like to keep hanging out with him after.
C: Probably part ways, I have to work early tomorrow.
As grossly inattentive parents do, we leave these two precious songbirds to themselves for the rest of the night to see if any sparks fly. Us? We went home and binged The Family on Netflix and got a lot of white cheddar popcorn goo on the cushions. A few days later, we regroup and ask the two what the big deal is.
What happened after Rooster left?
L: We stayed and talked for a while, then he offered me a ride home since it was on the way. We ended up at another bar and than he came over to hang out with my dog for a little bit but we both had to work early so he didn’t stay long.
C: I really needed to go home so I offered to drive her to her house at least, she wanted another drink so went to a bar near her place to grab a few more drinks and kept chatting from there.
As grossly inattentive parents do, we leave these two precious songbirds to themselves for the rest of the night to see if any sparks fly. Us? We went home and binged The Family on Netflix and got a lot of white cheddar popcorn goo on the cushions. A few days later, we regroup and ask the two what the big deal is.
Was there a goodbye kiss?
L: Yea, I mean I guess you could call it that …
C: Nope.
How about a second date?
L: No I wouldn’t go on a second date. I would probably go on a friend thing like, ‘hey want to go camping with my group of friends this weekend?’ but nothing romantic.
C: If it was a different time. If she was still in the area, I would have perused it a little more.
Did Rooster find a match?
L: Probably not, we were both hungover the next day so maybe we’ll talk more over the next few days but if not, I wouldn’t be upset.
C: I don’t think so, maybe we’ll be friends from here.
Do you have any advice for future Blind Daters?
L: Anyone interested in going on one should give it a chance, it was a lot of fun!
C: Just be yourself and have a good time, don’t drink too much.
Overall, how was it?
L: It was fun; the actual experience of the process was just a pretty awkward situation but it was fun. It coulda been way more awkward but he helped keep it light.
C: It was fun, definitely an interesting experience and a good dinner. I’m glad I didn’t pass up a free meal.
Do you have any regrets from last night?
L: Nope.
C: No, it was a good experience and I had a good time, I’d do it again.
What’s next in your dating life?
L: What’s next? Oh God, absolutely nothing for the time being.
C: Status Quo: I don’t know, I guess just meet people organically, probably on the Peddle Hopper.
CONCLUSION
Welp, so much for love at first bite. The two agree that The Goods Restaurant does in fact have all the good, good for a romantic night out. However, as these things go, forming a lasting relationship is harder than it looks when skinny Jude Law does it in films. (It takes more than an hour-and-a-half to zing in the heart, JUDE!) Until next time folks.
And if you see a dater you’d like to take your shot with, let us know at contact@theRooster.com — it’s almost cuffing season, after all.
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