Life is so much better when your penis is baggy.
Circumcision is so weird. Who decided that it was cool to lop the top off your Mr. Snuffleupagus look-a-like and call it a day?
The practice has roots in ancient Egypt where it began as way to help prevent venereal disease, curb masturbation (although that didn’t help), and stop congenital phimosos, a painful condition in which a man’s foreskin is unable to retract down the head of his penis. However, while circumcision may have been beneficial during the pre-antibiotic era of atrocious personal hygiene, there’s only mild evidence it has much medical benefit today apart from slightly reducing the risk of UTIs. Aside from it being more aesthetically mouthwatering to some people, circumcision’s only real use in modern times is continued adherence to tradition and the mistaken belief that it’s healthier.
So, in this day and age, is it still necessary to practice the painful and damaging process of circumcision on unquestioning infants when our modern society is more knowledgeable and aware of sexual health?
The National Organization for Restoring Males (NORM) thinks not. NORM is a non-profit support group for men who have concerns about being circumcised and are interested in the trending practice of foreskin restoration, a process by which the skin of the shaft is stretched into a makeshift flesh tube that’s able to act like native skin. Because of NORM's ever-popular crusade against the cut, foreskin restoration is now a growing international movement attracting members young and old who change the way we see circumcision by rejecting their forefathers’ legacies of hoodless members.
Most members claim they’ve struggled with self-acceptance, erectile dysfunction, and decreased sexual pleasure as a result of their circumcision. This isn’t surprising, considering that roughly 50 percent of the mobile skin system of the penis is lost through the removal of foreskin. Also lost are branches of the dorsal nerve, and between 10,000 and 20,000 specialized erotogenic nerve endings of several types. The foreskin also acts as a smooth covering for the penis head during everyday activities. Without it, the head can become desensitized or irritated.
But more than that, many men feel circumcision robs them of their basic right to pleasure.
As one man on NORM’s site wrote, “I'll always be my parents' son, but my body belongs to me and no one else. No one had my permission to circumcise me. Since there was absolutely no medical threat from my foreskin, it is a clear violation of my basic human rights. Could some doctors be giving wrong advice on infant circumcision because it is a big business in the U.S.?”
Once men discover the magic of foreskin restoration, however, these ailments abate.
“Sensations are significantly better, orgasms more far more intense and full bodied, emotions stronger and I'm just an overall nicer person,” said one member.
Another offered, “I cannot believe the difference in my orgasms, especially when I experience a full body orgasm.”
So, what’s to be done for these men once turtleneck season is no longer an option?
Have no fear, helmet heads. NORM and other restoration sites seek to help men restore their foreskins through simple manual techniques and mechanical devices. Neither of these technically restore what was lost per se; rather they help stretch existing skin on the shaft up and over the head to simulate foreskin.
Just how stretchy do you have to get to restore you windsock though? Wayne Robb, a member of NORM, assures us it’s about as easy and painless as anything else.
“When using devices, it is generally like any other routine (for example brushing and flossing your teeth). It takes a few minutes of your day and is otherwise not a big deal,” he says. “If it hurts, you’re doing something wrong.”
The two most common methods to initiate foreskin restoration are manual tugging and cross taping, simple, DIY methods which work to initiate mitosis and encourage skin growth.
Manual tugging works to pull the shaft skin near the glans up and over. This can be done for as little as two minutes each morning after your cup of coffee, or for as long as two hours if you have the time (we’re looking at you work-from-home graphic designers). Basically, it's just masturbating, but you're pulling and stretching the shaft skin up over the head in a much more exaggerated way than usual.
Cross taping is another option in which you use tape to pull the skin down over the head of the flaccid penis and make an X, kind of nestling the head into its hood so to speak.
Here's a cross-taping system someone rigged up themselves:
The TLC Tugger boasts that it’s discreet enough to use at work but also comfortable enough to sleep with; 24/7 tugging is what they’re all about. Here's what it looks like:
Oh god, it's so beautiful.
The SuperCanister is a more professional looking cross taping method. It’s like an extra-large thimble that fits over the head of the penis with a binder clip extension that allows users to tape their foreskin to said device for a stronger hold.
But even when you use these methods regularly, the process of going from circumcised to uncircumcised isn’t immediate. It can take years of work. However, most men who have participated or are still participating in foreskin restoration claim it’s one of the best decisions they’ve ever made.
“I can an only describe the restoration process as a METAMORPHOSIS of body, mind, heart and soul. The changes to me as a person have been dramatic – I am not the same person as I was when I began this process. I have been given the opportunity to heal probably the largest wound in my life,” said a foreskin restoration success story.
“I’ve been restoring for almost two months and it's hard to believe, sex with my wife is getting better. I actually have more feeling. It's great,” said another.
But perhaps most importantly, there’s a psychological benefit of foreskin regrowth that makes all that manual tugging and cross taping worth it.
“There is a … feeling of wholeness when I feel the warmth of my new foreskin embracing my glans. It is comfortable, arousing and simply natural, like coming back home, “one NORM member gushed.
As for what a fully-restored foreskin looks like after all the hard work's done? Here's a moderately NSFW video:
Foreskin data collection site Circumcision Information and Resource Pages (CIRP) does not collect statistics on the number of restoring men “because it is a personal process,” so it’s unclear how many men have, or are currently, regrowing their foreskins. However, they feel “It is safe to say that tens of thousands of men either have restored in the past or presently are restoring, and the total number may be even larger. Since more and more men are learning of the advantages of foreskin restoration, the number of men undertaking foreskin restoration seems to be increasing.”
We’ll, that’s about a solid statistic as a mushy, rain-soaked garbage pile. But regardless of foreskin restoration’s actual fan base, one thing’s for sure; a better-looking penis isn’t always a better feeling penis. And penises are made to feel … deeply. Wholly. Completely. Foreskin.