Wow. Not even a condom could have made that sex safe.

Look, we're all for sexual exhibitionism and having sex weird, highly public places. So when we heard a couple had tried to get it on at Fort Vauban, a well-preserved 16th century fortresses in France, we instantly started ovulating and stockpiling boner blood in support.  There's really nothing hotter than knowing you're being watched by groups of horrified tourists and 400-year-old ghosts, so we were all for it.

… And then we found out they died.

Apparently, the young French couple had stripped entirely nude, started fucking on one of the ancient castle's balconies, and then fell off, 40 feet, to their deaths in the moat below. Their naked bodies were found immersed in shallow water, while their belongings were found "above" at the castle, prompting authorities to believe that their deaths were a case of "lovemaking gone wrong."

Wow. Not even a condom could have made that sex safe.

Well, we guess dying while having sex isn't the worst way to die … but a really, really Game of Thrones way to die. It's just too bad that although "winter is coming," that poor couple is not.

And that, ladies and gents, is why when you fuck in a historic castle, you fuck inside, in the dungeon, where you can't fall anywhere but … in love.