Full, uncircumcised question:

Dear Ibby, I love my girlfriend, but every time she gets drunk, she becomes a verbally abusive, bigoted asshat. She says some really hurtful things to me and about other people, but then she claims she "doesn't remember" what she said. It's really starting to bother me. What should I do?

Don't hang out with her when she's drunk! It's that simple.

My guess is she's using drunkenness as an excuse to be a poop-head, and probably claims she "doesn't remember" what she said because she's too embarrassed to admit what she actually thinks about you and whoever else she's shit-talking. So, so many people use drunken blackouts as get-of-jail-free cards for shitty behavior, but alcohol is not an excusable reason to be a dick.

IDGAF what you say, there is no such thing as "Ohh, she was just drunk." Being drunk does not give you a right to be a pulsating cockhead.

Drunk people are the same people they are when they're sober, they're just lubricated. They feel like it's okay to say the the things they think, even if those things are hurtful and vitriolic … but they do actually think those things. Maybe they edit their horrible thoughts in their brain when they're sober, or maybe they have a better sense when to share what they're thinking, but the thoughts are still there.

Futhermore, being verbally abusive points at a much deeper issue than an alcohol problem. If she's spewing mouth abuse and bigotry after a few Mike's Hard Raspberry Lemonades, it might be a manifest indication that she's not really very comfortable with herself, or that she's of low intelligence. Most people who are confident, secure, intelligent and in control don't have a need for and sort of uncalled-for assholery, so the fact that she's gets so hateful when she's drunk is a great indicator of her internal state.

Also, bigotry isn't something booze gives you, it's a deeply ingrained set of beliefs that you know are wrong to bring up around sober, clear-headed people, so you wait until you can use alcohol as an excuse to bring it up.

You need to have a conversation with her when you're both sober about this. Ask her if there's anything she wants to talk about; anything she needs to get off her chest. Particularly, you know, the shit she says when she's drunk. Maybe she needs to see a therapist to unpack what she's so angry about and why she's projecting it onto you and other people.

So, what can you, personally, do?

Look, being that she's your girlfriend and all, you've probably spent a lot of time around her. You probably know when she's at drunk-hag capacity. When that time comes, ghost her. Tell her she's being a drunk asshole and you're not going to hang around to witness that side of her come out. There's no reason you should be physically present when her drunk personality surfaces, and it's possible that your absence, or at least the threat of it, will act as the metaphorical face slap she needs to wake up and address her own issues.

Under this system, she's free to stay out drinking as long as she wants, but make it clear to her that as long as she's in that state, you're out of there.

Also, another option would be to record her saying these things when she's drunk, then play her the recording or show her the video when you're sober so she knows what she sounds like. If she really does black out and forget what she says, a recording of herself will nip that little problem in the ass right quick. Sometimes, people need to see themselves how others see them in order to change their behavior.

Just remember that no matter how lovely she is sober, how intelligent or funny she can be, or how cool her boobs are, you don't have to put up with this shit. You don't deserve any abuse, verbal or otherwise, nor do whichever group(s) of people she's bigoted against. If you have to play the role of social eye-opener for her, rather than "agreeable boyfriend" around this, then so be it. Anyone worth your time will know this.

Fun bonus experiment: What's she like on alcohol-free beer? It would be interesting to give her some without her knowledge and see if the placebo effect of it awakens her inner assface.