You seem like a beached orca.

Help you? Sounds like they're the ones that need help, strange internet man/ woman.

And of course they don't like it you dingus. Very few people enjoy being randomly smacked, especially in the context of an intimate act like sex when they're most vulnerable. You can't just come out of nowhere and slap or bite someone during sex and expect them to like it just because you do.

You always, always, always have to get your partner's consent anytime you want to do something that could potentially hurt them. That's the only way that you can be sure they're enjoying it.

Here, do this: walk around with the assumption in your head that pain play (and slapping and biting do fall under that category) requires an additional level of consent beyond the first "Yes I would like to do sex things with you" moment for the sheer fact that there's pain. Anything that involves slapping, biting, choking, whipping, being tied up, being pinned down, scratching, etc. needs a thumbs up from your partner.

It's not that slapping or biting are that dangerous of activities in and of themselves; there are plenty of way more involved modes of inflicting both pleasure and pain than those two. It's just that different people have wildly different views on rough moves. Depending on whom or bite or slap, it could be abuse, or it could be ecstasy. You don't want to take the chance of it being the former.

Getting consent for this type of thing is easy; straight up ask if it's okay if you slap or bite your partner during sex. Then, ask some follow-up questions to make sure they're actually down.

For example: Does slapping and biting turn them on, or are they just willing to try for your sake? If they say yes, at what point would it be okay? How hard? How often? How can they ask you to stop? Or go harder? That kinda thing.

Explaining to them what you like about slapping and biting and why it turns you on might help too. For the sake of both of you, figure out if you're turned on by some sort of submission fantasy, the dominance that inflicting pain symbolizes or because you're very familiar with the razor-thin line between pleasure and pain yourself, and you want your partner to experience the same rush that blurred line brings.

Or! Or! Or! Perhaps you just enjoy the the surprise of a light slap or bite in the context of normal sex because it's exciting and primal.

The more they understand where you're coming from and see that you're concerned with their comfort and pleasure, you can make it clear that what you're about to do is both safe and consensual. Then you can really get into it, and at that point, you have my blessings, child.

The added benefit of talking it out beforehand is also that you can ascertain whether you're with the right partner for the job. I can assure you, there are millions of guys that would love to be slapped around a little in bed. It's just a matter of finding them … but you won't know if you've found one until you talk about it with them first.

The more you can communicate with your partners about incorporating these rougher moves into sex, the more you can both act on your impulses, and feel more comfortable expanding the fantasy into more nuanced realms if you want to.

But in the meantime, don't go around slapping anyone. Control your arms!