Have you considered that it might not be your friend that's holding you back … you might just be a shitty person?

Yeah! It's called "get over yourself."

Who fucking cares what she looks like? Your friend is not the obstacle, you are. As long as you continue to toil and wring your average-looking hands over how she affects your love life, she will affect your love life. It's exactly that kind of thought process that creates a dangerous self-fulfilling prophecy situation in which you attribute all your failed attempts at romance to your looks, and that's bullshit.

Has it ever occurred to you that you might just be a shitty person?

Maybe you're not funny. Or you're a terrible listener. Or you're a dick. Or people can sense your lack of confidence and keep their distance. Whatever it is, I promise you it's not your facial asymmetry or your ham hock arms. That shit does not matter anywhere near as much as people think it does.

And in circumstances where it does, like at the bar talking to strangers or on Tinder, you have to know that real connection is not made based solely on looks. It's based on shared interests, a mutual sense of humor and intelligence level and a host of other nonphysical factors, not the least of which is confidence.

Confidence is way, way, way more attractive than looks. And if you don't have the confidence to be happy for the attention your friend gets, but also know that you're worthy of the same, then you're slippin' around in shit.

Once you realize that it's you, not her, that you should focus on, I'll bet you $1 million that I don't have that your dating life improves.

Also, FYI, life isn't as easy as it seems for the ultra-hot. People are frequently intimidated by them, and when they do work up the nerve to talk to them, it's often because of their looks, not who they are. Plus, being ultra-hot doesn't always translate to being confident. People who are worshipped for their looks are under more pressure to stay good looking, which can lead to a lot of negative self-comparison and insecurity. That's kind of shitty, isn't it?

So know that your friend, while a megababe, has her own romance problems to deal with that you might not get to see. Pat yourself on the back for not having to deal with them.

You, on the other hand, are blessed with the gift of having to develop a personality, intelligence and a sense of humor to make up for your physical appearance. And, like I said, when you connect with someone on those levels, you create real connections with people who are interested in what's beyond the superficial layers of a person.

Connecting with someone based on how hot they are, on the other hand, is not a real connection. It's a fleeting boner in the wind.

Are there good-looking people out there who are smart, genuine, kind and funny? Sure. I don't know if your friend is one of them or not, but the bottom line is what she's bringing to the table doesn't need to affect you. If you let it, you're using that as a crutch, as a faulty explanation of your own shortcomings. Instead of focusing on her, focus on yourself and building yourself up to a place of confidence so that when you do meet someone who's interested in more than your bone structure, it means something.

Okay? Okay. Now go pluck your unibrow into a heart shape for mommy.