I think they just don't like giving your buddy head because he's stoopid.

Full question: Dear Ibby,
My buddy says that the amount of time that a girl spends at fellatio is directly proportional to her level of hotness. Hot girls don't spend too much time at the old "kneel and bob,” you know? What do you think?

I think you're a computer-generated bot and can't possibly be a real boy!

This fucking question … Well, I think I now know several things about your friend.

First, your friend has never watched porn.

Second, your friend is only saying that because he’s never hooked up with a hot girl.

Third, your friend knows so little about sex that he feels obligated to make sweeping, massively incorrect statements about women in a silly little attempt to appear experienced.

To your friend and men of the Rooster readership: evolve. Wake the fuck up. Women don’t hate giving head. That’s an antiquated, 1950s-esque supposition perpetuated by shitty college comedies aimed at a barely pubescent audience.

Listen to me: a fuck load of women, hot or otherwise, love giving head. Some of my hottest female friends would love nothing more than to spend an afternoon gargling penis.

That being said, some women hate it. Others have no opinion. It’s all over the place. It has nothing to do with the physical appearance of the woman and everything to do with her own sexual preferences. Certain sex acts aren’t “beneath” attractive people, and if you think they are, you are stupid. The same level of stupid as someone who believes that hot dudes are worse in bed because they “have to do less work.” No. No. NO. Some of the best sex I’ve ever had was with really hot people, and I bet you can say the same thing (talking to everyone except your friend who has clearly fucked -10 living things).

In conclusion: This is not a real phenomenon. Hot people do not try less in bed. Ugly people do not try harder. Mid-range people do not try mid-range. Looks and sexual preference aren’t related … but your friend and smelly-ass dead brain cells are.