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Oopsix Mini Style Wand

Buy: $24.99 on Amazon

– Body-safe, easy-to-clean silicone
– 8 speeds, 20 vibration patterns
– Waterproof
– USB rechargeable
– Tiny — about same size as a basic microphone
– Insanely quiet — sounds about as threatening as an electric toothbrush
– Use water or oil-based lube only (silicone or hybrid lube will degrade the toy material)

If you've ever wanted to try a vibrating wand but were wary of the paleolithic, club-sized Magic Wand or similar, well … here.

Just take this. It's Oopsix Mini Style Wand.

It's tiny. It's pretty. It's petal soft. It's easy to use. It has every desirable component of a larger, more ferocious wand — including the power — only packaged into a micro-version that's easier to hold and lug around. Its size also makes it ideal for partnered sex — larger, bulkier wand vibrators often get in the way because they're shaped like fucking cricket bats, but this one is demure and unobtrusive.

The Mini Style has 8 speeds and 20 vibration patterns, but I'm a simple country girl, so I just started it on its lowest vibration. It has a weirdly strong, buzzy vibration, a characteristic which would ordinarily imply a sharper, more superficial stimulation. However, further R&D reveals that if you apply just slightly more pressure, the thing starts to rumble and ignite much deeper nerves than expected (its flexible neck helps you do that comfortably and in a way that works with your own anatomy).

In fact, the things that happened to my body when I found the right place and pressure were way beyond what I expected or what I’m used to when I masturbate. I felt this sort of involuntary pulsating of my clit and vagina, and without thinking about it — or really anything at all — I had this sort of contracting orgasm without even trying. I've had the same experience with other larger, stronger wands, but I was vaguely floored that something so compact and seemingly innocent could have that effect. If you're into consensual forced orgasm or if just you're a lazy dweeb like me who likes to come without trying, I'd get like 10 of these and just stockpile them Y2K-style.

It also comes charged, which means you can see if the same thing happens to you the moment it arrives.

Another thing? It's dead silent. It also doesn’t get louder when you turn up the intensity, so it's great for when you want to come secretly (although it does sound like a bunch of geese got caught in a jet engine if you wrap your legs around it.) You also don’t feel the vibration in your hands like you do in most wands, meaning you can walk away from your surprising orgasm without debilitating carpal tunnel and peripheral numbness. Tight.

It's also 25 fucking dollars, which, last time I checked, is $4,000 less than the vast majority of most wands this high quality. It's the small, vibrating thingy of the people.

10/10 Dear Ibby clones would recommend.

Note: Vibrating wands are marketed towards people with vulvas, and are designed for external clitoral stimulation. But you know what? That doesn't mean shit. Anyone can use these — men, women, trans folks, whoever in-between. Whether you want to vibrate your taint into the next galaxy, buzz your anus because you're worth it, or you just need a relaxing massage on that place where your shoulder and neck meet that has no anatomical name, a wand can be for you.