You have to meet each other in the middle, halfway in the BDSM dungeon and halfway to church. No two people have the same sexual template. It becomes a question of compromising within the boundaries of each partner’s comfort. Can the less kinky person slowly explore more and more? Can the more kinky person be patient with this exploration and potentially be comfortable with not having some activities?

You have to meet each other in the middle, halfway in the BDSM dungeon and halfway to church. No two people have the same sexual template. It becomes a question of compromising within the boundaries of each partner’s comfort. Can the less kinky person slowly explore more and more? Can the more kinky person be patient with this exploration and potentially be comfortable with not having some activities? Both people have to be open and honest about what they need — and what makes them comfortable or uncomfortable — and that requires some sort of compromise if you want to have a satisfying, feather butt­-plug­-filled sex life.

For example, let’s say one person wants to get blindfolded, tied up and banged, but the other person is uncomfortable having sex with someone who can’t move or see. Let’s look at what the kinkier person wants: restraint and submission. Now let’s look at what the less kinky person wants: to have sex with someone who has a say in it, something a little more personal. A compromise for that couple would be to rethink the kinkier person’s fantasy in a way that’s more comfortable for both people. Maybe they try restraining each other gently with their hands instead of handcuffs or rope or something that’s harder to get out of. That way the idea of restraint and submission is still present, but the way it’s carried out is less harsh. Or, maybe there’s a blindfold involved, but no tying up anyone’s limbs. Maybe one night, you agree to go all out and do it how the kinkier person wants it, but the next night agree to hold hands then sleep in separate bedrooms and don't look at each other in the eye or whatever the less kinky person wants.

See what I’m saying? Compromise. It’s like when you want Chinese but they want Italian, so you end up just getting drunk and going to Taco Bell.