Masturbate alone, and call your hand “lover.” Shh … can you hear the sound of my comedy career going down the drain? Anyway, bad news for guys … because men are the ones whose orgasm, unfortunately, dictates the end of sex these days, it’s kind of up to them to take control of the simultaneous orgasm situation.

Masturbate alone, and call your hand “lover.” Shh … can you hear the sound of my comedy career going down the drain? Anyway, bad news for guys … because men are the ones whose orgasm, unfortunately, dictates the end of sex these days, it’s kind of up to them to take control of the simultaneous orgasm situation. Because girls can orgasm at any time, and more than once, it makes the most sense to wait until she’s about to come, then let yourself release a billion half-people into the condom tip. Easier said than done though, am I right?

The best way way to ensure simultaneity is to go as slow as it takes for the dude to control himself, and to communicate a shit ton. Girls, because there’s no life-bearing fluid that explodes out of your urethra when you come, guys can’t always tell when you’re going to. You might have to verbally let him know when you’re close. Chances are he’ll start going faster and harder, which might enhance or squash your orgasm depending on who you are, but that’s also something you’ll have to verbally communicate to him.

Guys, if you want to come at the same time as her, focus on her pleasure and taking it slow instead of how fucking awesome it feels for you. Redirecting your pleasure like that will make it easier to wait for her to get there. Both of you might have to make adjustments in speed, pressure and position during sex, but don’t get discouraged if you don’t pull it off right away. Simultaneous orgasms are rare and take a lot of communication to pull off. You might have to practice a few times to sync your shit up, which I can’t say I pity you for. I’m not Mr. T.