Today in things that only happen in Florida: a pornstar has figured out how to screw more than just "Dick Dickerson" on tape; she's also figured out how to screw the legal system and milk it for cash in one of the most brilliant manipulations of the legal system we've ever seen.

Today in things that only happen in Florida: a pornstar has figured out how to screw more than just "Dick Dickerson" on tape; she's also figured out how to screw the legal system and milk it for cash in one of the most brilliant manipulations of the legal system we've ever seen.

The porn star, Isabella (last name anonymous), filed an 11-page lawsuit against BangBros, Venetian Productions, and a handful of adult film affiliates demanding restitution for a contract that she deemed invalid by way of the most obscure legal roundabout ever … one that's so sinfully simple that it could undermine contract validity across the entire porn industry. And so the fucker becomes the fucked.

And which legal loophole did she use? The fact that sex outside of marriage is illegal in Florida.

Isabelle was indeed rocking a finger diamond at the time that she got paid $1000 for a BangBros film, which was shot in Florida. But despite the fact that she signed a consent contract, she now claims her contract with BangBros is "illegal and unenforceable because the consideration given by Isabella to the Defendants was sexual intercourse outside of marriage, which violates the public policy of the State of Florida."

Thanks for Floriada's arcane anti-adultery law, willingly having sex for cash on tape while married does, in fact make the contract invalid and "an invasion of her privacy" for which Isabella is due some cash money.

Twenty one other states also outlaw adultery in this fine country. In fact, in Florida, there's a 60 day jail sentence and a $500 fine they can impose on you for getting a little side action. The law is almost never enforced or talked about, but that hasn't stopped Florida legislators from keeping it on the books despite numerous attempts to legalize adultery. Oh Florida, you so silly!

But now, that decision to keep adultery illegal is coming back to bite Florida, and the porn industry in the ass. Isabella's lawsuit could set a precedent for other similar lawsuits, and in states were adultery is illegal, her case could be used to nullify thousands of pornography contracts. What's to stop other porn stars from flashing their wedding rings in court and demanding cash?

"Nothing," says UM associate law professor Andrew B. Dawson.  "Effectively, it would give the actor the right to seek to stop the film from being distributed (perhaps just to get his image off the internet) or to ask for more money, especially when the video was more profitable than the actor had anticipated." Unfortunately for your nasty case of "tennis elbow," adultery is not illegal in California and Nevada, which is where most major production porn is made … but still, if Isabella's case starts a shit storm in the 21 other states where cheating is illegal, that's a lot of porn that's going to get taken off the internet, and a lot of money that'll get diverted away from producing your favorite Floridian bukkake films.

Well, Isabella, it appears you like using your brain almost as much as you like giving it. And if the entire porn industry crumbles because of your diabolical legal brilliance; then we'll take solace in the fact that there's always Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi to fantasize about instead.