You know when you're drunk and lonely, and Domino's is the only one who will pick up the phone? And one thing leads to another? And suddenly there's a pizza at your house, a pizza that was practically built for pleasure? And you try to resist, but you can't; it's just so greasy, and you end up having sex with it? But wait, the cheese is too hot and the pepperoni is too spicy and now your dick is burning and there is sauce all over you balls oh dear god and then you tweet Domino's in penis-scorned rage?

You know when you're drunk and lonely, and Domino's is the only one who will pick up the phone? And one thing leads to another? And suddenly there's a pizza at your house, a pizza that was practically built for pleasure? And you try to resist, but you can't; it's just so greasy, and you end up having sex with it? But wait, the cheese is too hot and the pepperoni is too spicy and now your dick is burning and there is sauce all over you balls oh dear god and then you tweet Domino's in penis-scorned rage?

Yeah, so does this guy:

Props to Domino's for a comeback that's more scathing than a sexually active pizza. But as much as we'd like to believe there's someone out there who tweeted Domino's in earnest, it's probably just some comedian trolling Twitter…or, this guy: