A new Match.com survey has revealed some very interesting things about their romantic habits …
Every now and again, Match.com releases a report about the dating habits of its users. As you could guess, the contents of said report are usually a fascinating human ethnographic study, but we're pretty sure the one they just released is their best one yet.
Instead of surveying their users about typical sex and dating questions, they issued a questionnaire that attempted to delineate the difference in dating habits amongst Democrats and Republicans. What they found was … interesting, to say the least.
For one, Match discovered that Trump supporters in particular had some very distinctive romantic habits, such as these following knowledge nuggets:
- Trump fans are the most likely to film themselves having sex.
- Trump fans are the most likely to have five or more exes. They're also the most likely to talk about their exes.
- Trump fans are the most likely to be unemployed.
- They're 1,104 percent more likely to put out on the first date.
Rad, okay, so Trump's supporters are jobless and horny. Great!
But if Trump's fans are easiest to lay, Hillary Clinton's supporters are quite the opposite. They're most likely to …
- Lie about the number of sexual partners they've had.
- Abstain from sex until they meet the right person.
- Discuss politics and marriage on the first date.
- … Not fuck you. If you're looking for a one night stand, a Hillary supporter is 2,133 times more likely to expect no physical contact whatsoever on the first date.
BORING. Once again, Trump wins in the entertainment department. Not that that qualifies him to lead the free world or anything but, the man does know how to amuse the senses.
There wasn’t much to report about the supporters of other candidates, but Match did find that older women found Marco Rubio “the most kissable” while millennials wanted to kiss Bernie Sanders, right on his 1,000 year-old mug, quite literally feeling the Bern.
To be fair though, Match members aren't a great cross section of the general populace. Only 19 percent of them identify as Republican, while Republicans make up about a quarter of the general population. More significantly, about 40 percent are Democrats, compared to 31 percent of Uncle Sam's children. So, before you go assuming that a Trump fan (who we've yet to meet … are you real, Trump fans?) is going to suck and fuck you, consider that the Trump fans on Match.com may just be inordinately horny. For their exes, apparently.
On a more general note, amongst Match users, second dates are 90 percent more likely to happen if politics are discussed on the first date. A quarter of users list being an unregistered voter as a turnoff, while 35 percent want their dates to be "politically aware."
As for the actual date itself, Republicans line to wine and dine at pricey restaurants, particularly ones that serve sushi and Middle Eastern food. They're also super down to make out afterwards, but only after you buy them a drink.
Democrats also like sushi and cocktails. Both parties like talking about politics.
See? There's common ground. Maybe all we have to do to push legislation through the House and Senate is make sure there's a shit ton of raw fish on rice and a generous serving of Mike's Hard present … seems like that work better that the current setup …