There are many things you can ask Santa or Hanukkah Harry for this holiday season — Ipad, Iphone, subscription to Rooster Magazine — but none of them compare to the beauty and elegance of the dick scarf.

There are many things you can ask Santa or Hanukkah Harry for this holiday season — iPad, iPhone, subscription to Rooster Magazine — but none of them compare to the beauty and elegance of the dick scarf. Sowed with a thousand little threads of pink and red strands, detailing the portentious object, the dick scarf wraps perfectly around your neck for a soft and warm comfort reminescent of a mother's womb. And when your hands become cold, slip into the designer pockets located on each one of the balls to make sure that they stay toasty this holiday season. If you're like us, you can't wait to wear this stroke of genius to the family Christmas dinner. 

Sadly, this current beaut isn't in production quite yet but fear not young fashionista, we have an etsy store manufacturing myriad dick scarfs to keep you warm this winter.