It's called flibanserin and it's intended to treat non-horniness in women. Problem is, it's a dangerous crock-o-shit. 

Ever since male Viagra was unleashed upon the flaccid boners of this great country, women have wanted some too. 

But due to FDA regulations, attitudes towards female sexuality and the scientific difficulty of developing a girl-flavored Viagra analog, women have been left high and dry, with no "magic pill" of their own to combat low sex drive … until now.  

After an intense lobbying campaign, a federal advisory panel recommended the FDA approval of a drug called flibanserin, also known as the first on-the-market drug to treat hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), a condition characterized by low or no desire for sex in women. Currently, it's estimated that 10 percent of women develop chronic HSDD, and 40 percent will experience it at some point in their lives. It's usually caused by psychological factors such as low self-esteem, stress or mental health problems, so the drug is designed to rectify imbalances in brain chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin that contribute to these factors.

Problem is, flibanserin is complete and total horseshit for a multitude of reasons. The most important of these is the fact that female "Viagra" can never, and will never exist. 

See, Viagra is specifically used to treat erectile dysfunction. It gives already-horny men inflated boners so they can put them in you. It doesn't make them want to have sex more, or facilitate arousal in any way … it simply fills dicks with blood kinda like Elvira's titties. Same thing with Cialis and what have you. 

Women, however, don't need erections to have sex. Therefore, women can't have erectile dysfunction. Therefore, there cannot be a "female Viagra."

The phrase "female Viagra" is mistakenly used by drug lobbyists and pharmaceutical companies to refer to a magical pill that would make women want to fuck. That magical pill is its own thing though. It can't be Viagra. It can only be exactly what it is; an arousal-inducing medication. 

And that's what flibanserin is … or at least claims to be. However, there are some other serious problems with flibanserin you should know about before you go poppin' pills.

1. It doesn't work

Before beginning to take flibanserin, women who participated in studies on the drug only reported 2-3 satisfying sexual experiences a month (not necessarily involving orgasm). But after taking flibanserin, the ladies only reported an average increase of one more satisfying sexual encounter per month than women who were taking a placebo or nothing at all. 

Have you ever learned to count? One is the lowest/ loneliest number. We could get hornier more often by watching C-SPAN while nursing an alcohol-free, gluten-free beer. 

These results are barely statistically significant, indicating that flibanserin doesn't do its job. The difference in arousal compared with a placebo was a pretty pathetic 0.3 points on a scale ranging from 1.2 to 6.0.

Michele Orza, the consumer representative on the committee that recommended flibanserin's approval, said that, given these paltry results, women with low desire “deserve better.” Agreed, especially given the following points …

2. You can't take the pill or drink on it

No birth control pills and Zima for you! That's the price you pay for taking flibanserin, which by the way, you have to be on indefinitely for it to work. You can't just binge drink at the Chili's margarita bar one night then pop a flibanserin to work up enough vaginal gusto to sex up your dentist or whatever the fuck.

It's condoms and unhappy happy hours for you from here on out. 

3. Female arousal is difficult to medicate

There is a fundamental difference between Viagra for men and its analog for women.

Viagra works because it makes already-horny men operable. It targets blood flow to the peen. You can tell when you need to take it because you see a down-and-out dick that can't wake up from its sad slumber; you get an obvious visual cue.

Flibanserin works on moderating neurochemicals, the levels of which differ wildly from woman to woman. These levels are also highly subject to fluctuations due to stress, diet, sleep, health conditions and a googolplex other factors. You can't easily tell what your hormonal levels are like without blood-work, and even if you could, they'd change all the time. This makes it hard to know if you need to take the drug or not. Plus, there are often underlying socio-cultural and personal issues why a woman isn't horny, which range to low confidence to body shame to sexual trauma, none of which can be easily conquered with a single pill. Sometimes, low arousal is the result of a condition or state that needs to be talked through to relieve the blockage, not doused in medication that's already proven not to work very well. That being said, you can sell desire, but you can't fix female libido. 

The incredible subjectivity of the systems and molecules flibanserin effects makes it nearly impossible to predict how the drug will affect an individual's arousal, which in turn makes it difficult to use it therapeutically. 

Drug companies know this. But they also know that the laywoman doesn't understand this, and they can profit hugely from the ignorance of their target market. Think about it; concept of female Viagra is billion-dollar idea, so it behooves pharmaceutical companies to release something, anything, that has a minimal effect in order to rake in profit … even if they know it's probably not gonna work. 

4. It was rejected twice by the FDA

Not because the FDA are sexist idiots, but because the drug showed little promise and was plagued by serious side effects like low blood pressure, fainting, nausea and dizziness.  In fact, the FDA only approved it under extreme pressure from Even the Score, a female advocacy group that accused the FDA of gender bias because it approved Viagra and other drugs to help men have sex while leaving women without options.

“To approve this drug will set the worst kind of precedent — that companies that spend enough money can force the F.D.A. to approve useless or dangerous drugs,” Dr. Adriane Fugh-Berman of Georgetown University said at a committee meeting about the drug. She is the director of PharmedOut, a project that questions the influence of drug companies on the practice of medicine.

According to the New York Times, several other speakers at the same meeting opposed approval, saying the data had "not changed much from when the drug was rejected." Dr. Fugh-Berman of PharmedOut called flibanserin “a mediocre aphrodisiac with scary side effects.”

5. It's not a step towards female equality

It would be if it worked, but it doesn't, so it's not. 

Flibanserin's ascension from experimental sex compound to readily available drug was immediately hailed by some women’s organizations like Even the Score as a step toward sexual equality. However, providing women with a mediocre consolation prize drug like flibanserin is not really sexual equality. Until a more efficacious, safer drug that actually helps women with HSDD experience arousal becomes available on the market, sexual equality can't be achieved. 

So, don't be a guinea pig by taking flibanserin. Try something safer if you can't get horny; weed for example. Foria, the weed lube product we reviewed last year, has been getting rave reviews for its ability to facilitate arousal and enhance orgasm in women who have a hard time in that arena. Smoking it to relax you and lower your inhibitions in a safe environment with a partner you trust is another great way. And if you're not a weed person, try drinking a small amount of alcohol, which acts as a vasodilator at low levels and also helps to promote relaxation. 

If your problems with arousal are really pervasive and medically significant, talk to your doctor about other options. Testosterone cream is a pretty common treatment for women with low arousal. Changing up your birth control can also make a huge difference. Therapy to determine the underlying causes of your lack of arousal might be something you should try too. 

In any case, until a "magic pill" that actually works shows up on the counters at Walgreens, stay on the safe side and stick to lesbian porn, Ryan Gosling sex scenes and fantasies of Bill Clinton showing you his Oval Office to get you off for now.