Can we get this thing from Russia in time for Halloween, is our only question …

Do you love to take dogs on walks, but also know that he/she is an asshole and may bite people, but also want to scare the shit out of pretty much anyone within eye-sight of your menacing companion of despair!? Then we've got what you need to make those "neighbors will probably call the cops on you" dreams a reality — introducing the Werewolf Muzzle, a Russian-made accessory for the snapping pup in your life.

For around $30 American dollars (plus shipping and whatever other monetary stipulations are in the crazy writing we don't understand right now), you can order your own fully functional muzzle from Zveryatam.ru. And while the addition may look fairly cruel to us outsiders, many countries make it illegal to walk dogs without muzzles, and in fact, some should be muzzled here in the states if poor behavior of a dog is readily known. Because what says, "No, I said, don't touch my dog, you moron" more so than the illusion of rabies and certain death?