I asked everyone I know whether they spit or swallow to try to find out why.
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It's 2 p.m. on a Tuesday, and you've got a mouthful of hot cum. What do you do?
Do you gulp it down and digest it into usable macromolecules, or do you spit it out, resolute in your belief that your intestines are a hostile environment for young sperm?
We all have our own reasons for choosing either option. But we can't, for the life of us, understand why someone would take the opposite action we would. Personally, the idea of spitting out someone's cum is hilarious. In my mind, I picture a heavily erotic head session being rudely punctuated by the gagging and bulging eyes of whoever is sucking dick as they flail around the room looking for a cum-receptacle. Like, everything was going great and now you're about to die because something in your mouth tastes weird? I giggle forever at you.
But, this idea of not understanding the other side was bothering me, so I decided to talk to my entire social network about the eternal Sophie's Choice of spit vs. swallow. And wouldn't you know, I found out some pretty interesting stuff. For one, I learned that the spit vs. swallow binary is arbitrary and that some people have mastered a grey area in-between. I'll call these people "in-betweeners" just to demonstrate my lack of creativity.
Below, you'll find accounts of all three types of humans: spitters, swallowers and in-betweeners trying to rationalize their personal semen-amelioration tactics. Read through their explanations, and I'll meet you at the bottom where I'll try to make sense of it all.
"OMG SPIT! Gross, I'm not swallowing that shit. I don't want it exploding in my mouth. It's warm and icky and no. Not in my mouth. If it's someone I really, really like, I would maybe let it go on my face but no it's not going directly in there. And if it's anyone that I don't really really like it's not going on my face at all. Nope nope nope." – Amanda, 25
"Spit. I have a difficult enough time with a guy's cum shooting into my mouth. I gag almost immediately. I'd like to think I'm a sexy porn star pleasing a guy with the ability to get him to finish and swallow it. But just can't." – Tess, 22
"I spit because it tastes like dying, but I do it sexily. I kind of let it dribble past my lips and down my chin while making eye contact." – Claire, 24
"I think swallowing is kind of degrading … like another way to put themselves in you. So I pass on that." – Leslie, 28
"I spit it out right back in their mouth." – David, 22.
"Swallow. I guzzle cum. Get your protein." – Randy, 27
"Swallow. Every time. Where do you even spit it? Your mouth is like a disposal. It just goes away. Easy cleanup." – Erica, 30
"I think it kind of kills the moment when you spit, like you're grossed out by them or something. It's not gross to me, so down the hatch!" – Anna, 23
"I swallow because, as a dude, I know it feels extra good when they're almost sucking your semen out of you. Those last few seconds in their mouth at the height of orgasm are heavenly." – Logan, 26
"Swallow. It's another type of penetration if you think about it, so to me, it kind of builds intimacy and connection. It's like saying I trust you or like you enough to do this." – Camille, 27
"I swallow, but I don't have to taste it because as he comes, I deep throat him and his junk just bypasses my tongue entirely." – Natalie, 30
"I feel like when you spit, you have to taste it for longer. It's just sitting in your mouth as you try to get it out, and it hits all the parts of your tongue when you try to hold in while you look for a tissue or something. Swallowing just gets it over with, like taking a shot as opposed to sipping a cup of tequila." – Rachel, 32
"Depends on how much I like them." – Breanne, 22
"You can't really make out or kiss after you swallow, so I usually avoid having it go anywhere near my mouth. If they want to ejaculate on my face or boobs, that's fine, but I'm not trying to snowball them when we kiss after so … neither?" – Elaine, 35
"I swallow, but if I do it on an empty stomach, I feel like shit after. So spit if I'm hungry, swallow if I've eaten." – Mary, 29
"I never swallow unless I really like the guy. I feel like swallowing tells them you're into them." – Heather, 23
"I swallow the first time to see what it tastes like. If it tastes like nothing, or at least tolerable, I'll swallow. But I've had guys who taste fucking vile and I've totally gagged, so with them, I'll always spit. Totally depends on the dude." – Nathan, 29
Okay, I used my computer brain to synthesize some takeaways from these spit vs. swallow discussions:
1. More people swallow than spit.
2. People usually spit because of the taste, mouth-feel or because of what swallowing symbolizes to them.
3. People swallow because it increases intimacy, feels good for the guy, reduces clean-up, and also because of what swallowing symbolizes to them (although that meaning varies person-to-person).
4. Whether someone spits or swallows generally depends on whose semen they're gargling. However, that has important implications. If a girl is spitting out your cum, it could mean she's not that into you or that your spunk tastes like a garbage tar pit. You might want to get checked out to see if you have an infection or some sort of nutritional or hormonal imbalance. Or, if you're sure you're healthy and she likes you, she's just a spitter and that's life. Yet simultaneously, if a girl is always swallowing your splooge, it doesn't mean she's into you or that your semen tastes like how winning feels. She just likes swallowing. Don't read too much into it.
5. People have developed personalized workarounds to avoid the binary classification of spit-or-swallow. There are grey areas in-between the two that you can utilize if you dislike the ultimatum.
The problem of mouth-semen has created a world in which head-givers have to creatively work around the issue in a way that best meets their needs and satisfies their existential crises about what it all means. Spit vs. swallow is an interesting dilemma because it brings up all sorts of questions about degradation, intimacy and what it means to be a good partner while simultaneously operating within your own comfort zone. There's not a right or wrong way to approach the topic; you can really make this cum thing work for you in whatever way you feel most comfortable.
But for those times when you really don't want to think about all this … just let him cum on your tits. You don't have to lift a neuron, he gets to … cum on your tits. Everyone wins.