That degree may be completely useless,  but we’ll cherish that threesome forever …

It's no secret that our college years are the perfect time for experimentation. We’ll drop acid, potentially bag a cougar (because that’s supposed to be fun) and maybe even fulfill that lifelong fantasy of the elusive ménage à trois. At this crucial time in one’s life, individuals will probably never be more naïve, open-minded and most importantly, consistently drunk enough to dabble in sexual acts like this, which means that during these four years, that threesome proposition we’ve presented to our girlfriend of three months via Power Point might be crazy enough to just work …  

A recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior aimed to determine exactly what percentage of young, adults have actually had threesomes. To do this, the researchers used an online survey of 229 female and male heterosexual college students to better gauge their “attitudes toward, interest in, and experiences” with mixed-gender threesomes. A “threesome” was semantically outlined as “sexual activity involving three people where at least one member of each gender is present,” because apparently that needed clarification for all the non-Math major undergrads.

According to the results of the survey, nearly a quarter of college-aged males (24 percent) admitted to having a threesome already, while only 8 percent of the females claimed to have done so. We could potentially chalk up the sheer discrepancy in percentages to overstating on the male behalf and underreporting on the female side, but it could also be due to just the semantic problem described above. Some people are more likely to consider making out and generalized rubbing as “sexual activity,” while other’s minds immediately go to intercourse.

In general, a third of participants had been in a threesome. But what about just how many people  in the study would like to participate in a threesome? 

These statistics were even more lopsided. A whopping 82 percent of males were eager to try out some tag-team action while a only slim minority of women (only 3 percent!) claimed to have any interest such a sexual encounter. It’s at this juncture in the study where the differences amongst the sexes really stand out. Just who would we prefer in our ideal threesomes: Friends or strangers?

Men per usual were more finicky in this area. The results illustrated a strong male preference to be friends or acquaintances with the other parties involved. The ladies didn’t really seem to give two shits one way or another. According to the findings, women had little to no preference on whether or not the other members of the trio were their friends or complete strangers.

We’re looking at you, class of 2020, live it up while you can … and just take it from us, the whole cougar thing is overrated. Just don’t.