The ugly sweater office party has been a company tradition since we hired our first employee, fired our HR department and bought a keg using the leftover pension money. As there are a plethora of sex-driven, debaucherous sweaters out there, we asked our in-house stylist, Madi Hadel, to construct the most hideous, eyesore-ugly sweaters anyone would be honored to wear to a holiday event.

Three days, two thrift stores and a deconstructed Christmas tree later, the sweaters were finished. And they were magnificent.