"Hands Free Orgasm," a little slice of YouTube glory, that promises genital eruption without physical stimulus …
Recently, I stumbled across a dusty catacomb of the Internet, a psychedelic place where kink meets hypnosis and orgasm ensues. It's called HypnoFetish, and it's exactly what it sounds like.
The most prominent example of HypnoFetish is UltraHypnosis, a YouTube channel that offers a variety of unconventional hypnosis videos with, ahem, "diverse" uses. There's one called “Vampire Transformation,” another called “Become a Baby,” and their most popular option, “Can’t Stop Laughing.” But the one that caught my attention was obviously, "Hands Free Orgasm," a little slice of YouTube glory that promises genital eruption without physical stimulus. Obviously, I had to try it out.
Although the video advises me to watch it alone as to salvage the moral sensibilities of others, I picked a crowded New York City coffee shop for my experiment, because I'm young, wild, and free and stuff. I had noise-canceling headphones, so I considered myself to be in a private space, armed and ready for orgasm.
I settled into my seat, took a sip of my coffee, and pressed play, ready to come in a place where they chef salads for the sake of journalism.
Here's what happened:
For the first, oh, 14 minutes of the 18-minute video, a soothing male voice told me to "just breathe so deeply" and to "just relax."
"Feel just so good" he said. "Feeling just so … relaxed."
"Just so much deeper now."
The visual accompaniment to this quarter-hour of relaxation commands was a pink and blue spiral that sucked my vision and attention into it like a million black holes. It was surprisingly easy to stare into. I neither could, nor wanted to look away from its infinite spinning, but if I managed to, whatever I looked at at mirrored the whirlpool of the hypnotic spiral and I had what I was sure was an acid flashback. I accidentally looked up at a man's face and it twisted into itself around his nose as if was blending itself into a smoothie. I was all, "Bring on the pleasure!"
Sinking further into hypnosis, I couldn't quite escape the pressing awareness of his lack of linguistic variety as the hypnotist employed the phrase "just so" in 103 percent of the sentences he speaks.
"Feeling just so good now."
"Breathing just so deeply."
In fact, at this point, the only thing standing in between me and a pair of wet underwear was this grating realization.
Nevertheless, by the 14-minute mark, I was absorbed. His instruction to "feel just so good" had an effect, and the outside world became nothing more than a visual border. It's like when you have a browser window open, and you can see your desktop background on either side of it but I neither noticed its existence nor cared
I was sucked into the spiral. I was responding to the voice. I was hypnotized as you can be in a TriBeCa coffee shop, which was substantial considering sitting next to me was an 8-foot tall man trying to kiss a 4-foot tall woman, and the tantalizing height differential was enough to endanger my hypnotic focus.
But then: the hypnotist man begun the orgasmic command sequence.
"When I snap my fingers, you will orgasm," he said. A brief pause, and then ….
The sound alerted me. My attention, dilute and dreamy before, focused in sharply on the quality of the snap. It was abrupt and echo-y and jarring, like the sound of your house settling in the night, which you know is the Ghost of Christmas Past, but your mom insists is just the pipes warming up.
"When I snap my fingers, you will orgasm," he says again.
A jump of the heart. A tightening of the Kegels. Anticipation. Spiraling down deeper into relaxation.
"Orgasm," he says.
Something happening down there.
More … tingling. Fear that tingling might be the most enthusiastic response to hypnosis my pussy can muster up.
Tingling. Is that Larry David over there? Wait, no. That's just a woman with orthopedic shoes.
Video ends. Tingling evaporates. Vague shock as the surroundings come back into focus and I become aware that my nose is maybe three molecules from your computer screen and to others, it looks as if I'm planning to thrust myself through it into another dimension.
Uh … Where was that hands-free orgasm you promised, UltraHypnosis?! Not in my vagina, apparently.
Cold coffee and disappointment.
But that's not to say it wasn't kind of fun. I had never been hypnotized before, and there I was, coming out of a hypnotic state where I almost came all over my breakfast sandwich.
Perhaps a different, more climactic outcome would have resulted if the use of hands was permitted, although that would have been an unpleasant experience for my coffee shop colleagues and their cappuccinos. Perhaps if the video was longer, I would have made it to the finish line. Perhaps if I had reached a deeper state of relaxation that rendered me more susceptible to hypnotic control, I'd be getting arrested for public indecency right now. Had any number of factors been augmented, the video might very well have worked, and for that reason, I'm suddenly kind of down with this whole HypnoFetish thing.
But the video did have residual merits. It succeeded somewhat in its plan of hypnosis. It made me feel relaxed, a feeling that stayed with me until a toddler kicked me in the shin in the subway later. I even had a slight physiological reaction to the orgasm commands, and while they were short of climax, they were not unpleasant.
The one, glaringly important thing the video didn't do was make me horny, something that I think would be necessary for it to work to its full extent. Rather, the hypnosis offered a state of relaxation and focus that allowed for the possibility of pleasure. That makes me think it would be very, very useful of I was already aroused, or for someone who has trouble relaxing enough to let himself feel pleasure.
Other YouTube users had different responses, which you can read on the video's page. Some said it didn't work at all. Some said it made them shit or piss. Some say they came hard and the experience was unmatched. Some were like, "9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB."
Based on my own experience and these other people's responses, I concluded that UltraHypnosis' videos work if you're in the right frame of mind from them to. Which is more than I can say for your boyfriend's ability to make you come, or my frame of mind at the time that I watched it. So it's definitely worth a shot.
UltraHypnosis' videos seems to play a major role in the sexualized subculture that is HypnoFetish, but they're not the only ones out there. Dig deeper into the online hypnosis underworld, and you'll find videos that make you feel high, cure addictions, regress into a past life, convince you that your name is Marlon, or claim to "change your eye color." There's all sorts of this shit out there.
But if you're looking to stay on sexual side of the hypno-world, themes of the HypoFetish community include emasculation, “bimbofication” (turning a woman into a sexually generous slut, consensually), and use of hypnosis as a kind of pick-up technique. Kinkier sites like eSuccubus sell albums of “erotic hypnosis," and audio tracks about themes such as lactation and latex fetishism. There’s even a facet of HypoFetishsim for the sex-adverse: members of the NoFap community on Reddit discusses using hypnosis to overcome porn addiction.
Speaking of Reddit, there are a few hypno-themed communities you can look into, including HypnoHookup, HypnoGoneWild, and the main Erotic Hypnosis subreddit if you want to delve a little deeper into hypo-erotica. There's even a HypnoHentai subreddit, and something called /r/GirlsControlled that offers a surreal new twist on the idea of female celebrities as “Illuminati puppets." It's fun for the whole family.
But whatever your interested in this whole subversive HypnoFetish thing is, I'd definitely recommend trying out UltraHypnosis' videos as an accessible, erotic intro to it. Even if the though of being mind-controlled to orgasm doesn't turn you on, it's interesting to experience how internet hypnosis affects you in particular. And while everyone seems to respond to it differently, you'll at least find out if watching YouTube video makes you come harder than Sassy Back Door Hoes Volume 12 does. It's good to know these things.