I’ve always struggled to stay faithful in monogamous relationships. How do I break this cycle of betraying the person I love?
The simplest solution is to give your partner the one and only key to your chastity belt. The more complicated solution, if you’re a glutton for punishment, is a policy of total transparency with your partner. Give them your phone and social media passwords, share a calendar, and over-communicate about your comings and goings. Make it harder for yourself to keep secrets and you’ll reduce the chances of slipping back into old behaviors. Work with a therapist to identify your motivations for cheating and work to overcome them.
It’s also possible that you’re better suited to setting loose traditional relationship structures as if they’re a fart in the wind. Many modern sluts are abandoning society’s ideals of soulmates and the sanctity of marriage in favor of polyamory, swinging, or open relationships. Open relationships allow for sex outside the relationship; polyamory permits partners to fall in love with more than one person; and swinging is a form of social sex in which couples swap partners.
Non-monogamy is not just a glorious orgy where you juggle numerous sets of genitals — it requires endless communication and command over your emotions. But it can empower some who’ve failed to fit the mold of monogamy to release the guilt and shame they’ve been carrying, embrace their truth, and follow a less traditional (but more honest) path.