Whoever decided these were great items for the campaign brand should be fired immediately.
Presidential candidates will do whatever it takes to garner support and raise campaign donations in hopes of one day being the leader of this great country. Unfortunately, their apptitude for choosing kitschy, crap products to represent their brand is as solid as their ability to kiss babies that aren't theirs. To give you an example of this brand ineptitude, we compiled our favorite junk items from each candidate's store. Candidates whose items are missing from this list either didn't have any items besides their campaign bumperstickers on shirts or only allowed you to donate to the cause. Rand Paul led the way with the best items, unfortunately, we were the only ones who seemed to think so because he recently dropped out of the race. Did we mention that all of these products were made in America?
1."Ted Cruz Game on Bundle" is perfect for stuffing in your closet and never talking about again
2. "Ted Cruz Straight Outta Compton book" will never be on the bestseller list
3. "Ted Cruz Limited Edition Sweater" is actually a great ugly sweater for next year's office party
4. "Cruzball Can Cruzie" guarantees you'll always be drinking by yourself
5. "Ted Cruz Fan Jersey" is a must for any kid looking to get their ass kicked, over and over … and over again
6. "Marco Rubio 'Let Freedome Ring' phone case" makes sure all of your phone calls go unanswered … because you don't have friends … because your phone cover is dumb
7. "Marco Rubio is Bae T-Shirt" makes Rubio seem like a hip guy, who's into current trends even though he's kind of a goober
8. "Buy Marco a Plane Ticket" is just what you were thinking when you asked yourself how you could help Marco Rubio
9. "Donald Trump Make America Great Again Visor" for that time you needed anything to block the sun, including a visor, but still opt on wearing a hat and letting your mom wear the visor
10. "Donald Trump Dog Sweater" even makes the dog in the picture uncomfortable
11. "I Stand with Rand Paul" flip flops were supposedly made in America. Really Rand?
12. "Rand Paul Cornhole Set" helps you find the libertarian frat-brother personality you've longed for
13. "Liberty Not Hillary T-Shirt" from Rand Paul really lets the world know how much you love liberty
14. "Rand Paul Hillary Hard Drive" serves a the perfect birthday gift for your loving father that keeps on giving laugh after laugh
15. "Rand Paul Sunglasses" keep you cooler than cool
16. "Hillary Clinton Spatula" for when your "Bill Clinton" side acts out
17. "Hillary Clinton Throw Pillow" is Hillary's attempt at seeming like she has a soul
18. "Hillary Clinton Pant Suit T-Shirt" always gets a laugh… from the Goodwill store employee when you get denied trying to sell it
19. "O'Malley's Rebuild The American Dream Hoodie" fits any drug dealer trying to live the American Dream
20. "Jeb Bush's Guacamole Bowl" should be an instant classic once Bush no longer is in the race