The next generation of vaginas are sleeker, more aerodynamic, which means less drag and higher performance …

Vaginas come in all shapes and sizes. However, a few rich and influential New York women have spurred the latest craze in vaginal cosmetic surgery (labiaplasty) because a vagina should apparently be as cookie-cutter and customizable as a Nissan Sentra. Especially when that vagina is in yoga pants, which everyone knows are engineered specifically to accentuate moose knuckle.

According to a report from the American Society for Aesthetic Surgery (ASAS) labiaplasty is on the rise nationwide. From 2013 to 2014 alone there was a 48% increase in procedures performed in the US.
The procedure is performed on the labia majora or minora, the main objective is make the vagina appear smaller and more symmetrical. Never mind the millions of years of evolutionary tailoring, the vagina apparently still isn’t quite right for Kate Hudson’s Fabletics Ingrid Capris.

As noted by Dr. Walden, a spokesperson for ASAS: “Some women have a real issue with contouring when wearing tight jeans and yoga pants. They want to look and appear sleeker in that area. And, enlarged labia can have a real impact on a woman’s sex life.”

To which an on-hand vagina responded: “I made you. SMH.”

Many women are opting for the slimmer, sleeker vaginas for practical reasons, such as “the painful internal twisting that can occur when some women exercise in form-fitting pants,” as noted by DeathandTaxes.

Believe it or not, the wildly popular surgery has virtually no health benefits whatsoever. There are essentially no medical advantages to labiaplasty beyond the few rare circumstances in which the procedure is used to manage comfort and hygienic issues.

The procedure costs about $5,500 to $7,500, which means most women will just have to deal with continuing to live their lives with the normal, imperfect, amazing vaginas they’ve always had.

Shucks.